Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Idiotic idioms + DES bandcamp + new version of Burning Bush Monkey

If you want to make people look at you like "wtf bro", say these things to them. I'm sure in a few days you'll become the village potato, or if you fail at delivering the punchline (since when do idioms have punchlines?), at least you'll become the village unicorn, and that's awesome as well.

Some of these are references to my songs, so if you say them, you're supporting me as well, so you get a free turtlefuck lesson from your nearest potato. If you don't, well, that's not my fault, but yours for trying to talk to a potato and expecting it to answer. Everyone knows that potatoes don't talk, they have fance to think about; it would make them look like tomatoes if they went around speaking to random people.

"The grass is greener at the end of the rainbow."
"A potato is mightier than a sword if the sword isn't a potato, but even if it is, the potato is still mightier."
"Don't hate me if your penis is smaller than mine, hate your penis and cut it off."
"No man can turtlefuck his own knee."
"Ladies and gentlemen, look at my unicorn. My unicorn has five legs."

...I'm sure that if you say the last one in a grocery store, they'll probably throw you out and give you 10€ to hire a prostitute for some reason, since they think you're sexually frustrated and that the fifth leg is a penis, even though it's not, it's a fifth leg that grows from the neck or stomach or chest or something. And also:

Click that banner image thingy to go to the Bandcamp page. Basically, people on Facebook convinced me to register there, and so i did, and uploaded the newest album there. Of course, it's only the actual album and not the extra stuff, since one of those had that Dalek sound, and without it, it wouldn't be the same, so all those extra songs aren't there, but I'm pretty sure no one cares one bit about that, since it was just one really boring deathcore song that had the most überbrutal breakdown that is humanely possible (notice the sarcasm; read as: the most clichéd breakdown that is so lame it can't even be comprehended by the human ears) ("Extermination", which is the one with the Dalek thing; click this to listen it on Youtube if you didn't already when I first uploaded it and posted that post about it (I can't make coherent sentences today for some reason...)) and a remastered/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey", and of "Four-Dimensional Intercourse Pentagram", but that still sounded like absolute shit, and the awfully failed "Bunny-Induced Amnesia", which had that autotune fail (but I was too lazy to change it), and an overall very, very experimental (read as: a total mess) "Flying Combat Sharks", a short and porny version of "Hyperspherification", titled "Hypersphernography", and a short, lame "Rotten Crawling Things".

So yeah, if you download it from Bandcamp, you don't miss much. And besides, why would you download it from Bandcamp when you can download it from the blog post just before this one, which I'm gonna link here just to annoy you even more? (If the first links stop working, download from the ones under those; it's just divided differently.) But yeah, if you want to download it from there, go and download it from there. :P

By the way, I uploaded the remastered/re-recorded/re-edited/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey" to Youtube.

I'm even more proud of it now, since the whole contrast between the happy pop-like parts and dubsteppish wub wub wub parts is a lot bigger, and I think it's probably not totally impossible to make out the lyrics. Of course, it could be that it is, but well... it's okay, since that's not the most important thing about stuff. If you want to download just this song, click this.

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