Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Smunctrum - Dead End (2013)

01. Hungry Swarth
02. Lolibacon
03. Orgasmic Dystrophy
04. Tongue Extraction
05. Sacrificial Vitrification
06. Barehanded Decapitation
07. Postmortem Incest
08. Blowtorch Throatfuck
09. Sulfuric Acid Trip
10. Brain Death
11. Dead End

DOWNLOAD from Bandcamp
DOWNLOAD from Mediafire

Nves (guitar, bass, programming)Vlürch (vocals, programming, synth)
Jesus (guitar, vocals)
D.K. (vocals)


So yeah, it took a while to get this album to the point it was ready to be uploaded anywhere, mostly because of unrelated things and stuff... all the songs were like finished a pretty long time ago, but there were things like my voice getting all shit and at least Nves having a life and whatnot. Anyway, here it is, if anyone actually gives a shit, which would be nice.

Friday, 6 December 2013

RIP Nelson Mandela

Everyone dies, but it always seems like the people who've done great things die the most suddenly. I mean, he'd been having health problems, yeah, but him being Nelson Mandela, it seemed like he'd live forever; I know I'm not the only one who thought this way, right? And in a way, of course, he's still alive and will be alive forever, by people remembering him.

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Rushed Light Onset (2013)

I've finished a new EP. It's called "Rushed Light Onset", since it's kinda rushed and it mostly sounds like shit. Still, every song has parts that I'm proud of, which is why I released it anyway.

DOWNLOAD from Bandcamp

01. Biomechanochemical Agglomeration of the Behemoths
02. Angel Lust Murder
03. Freedom
04. Groove-lo-fi-Raptor
05. SW☆G
06. Projectile Tentacle Pathogen (remastered)
07. Coalescent Visceral Dissolution (remastered)
08. Groove-lo-fi-Raptor (instrumental)
09. Mermaids and Magic Wands (instrumental)
10. Biomechanochemical Agglomeration of the Behemoths (instrumental)
11. SW☆G (instrumental)

Thursday, 31 October 2013

Oh look, it's halloween (new Heave the Sun + a zombie thingy)

...and because of that, I was in the mood to do some dark ambient:

Also finally posted this on Tumblr and now here. I hadn't before, even though I'd already done it like a month ago:

Monday, 14 October 2013

New dubstep + weird Pokémon fusions + other stuff

I spent the whole weekend making music almost non-stop, and the results are:

An orchestral dubstep song with samples from Breaking Bad! I'm really proud of it, since I finally managed to achieve that kinda thickness that's always good in dubstep, but I'd never been able to properly do it myself before. So, yay. Breaking Bad was one awesome TV series, so I hope this matches that awesomeness. Probably not, but I'm satisfied with how it turned out, although it might be a little happy-sounding with all those strings and choir shit and stuff.


Some extremely simple, repetitive dubstep that's filthier than gargling diarrhoea and menstrual blood while forcefeeding an aborted fetus to a masturbating fat guy who's being anal raped by a badly decomposed zombie octopus. What, it's not that filthy? Fine, whatever, fuck off. :P It's still the closest to actual dubstep I've ever done, so don't complain.

Also, I've started uploading my stuff to Soundcloud again:


In other news (those words always make me think of an old man with grey hair and a cheap grey suit), I did some so-called art of Pokémon fusions: (click for full sizes, obviously)

I also posted them on Tumblr, because Tumblr exists. And like I said there, no offence towards anyone is intended, although I understand why they might be a bit potentially offensive with all that pseudo-sexual stuff and menstruation and shit.

Bloody batman, I've mentioned menstruation twice in this post. Does that officially make me a pervert of some sort? XDDDD Seriously, though, it's just that from a guy's point of view, menstruation is pretty damn creepy and unsettling (not saying it isn't for girls (is it, though?)); we can't really understand it, and thus we naturally feel disturbed by it. And that makes it suitable to be implemented into things that are meant to be both disturbing and disgusting. I don't mean to offend any female human beings, though! It's just, you know... a thing... sorry.

Oh, and I watched Pacific Rim. It was fucking epic, so epic that I was literally shaking with epicness, and was like "OMGGGG~" for a long, long time. Then, it just ended abruptly, and... like, what. The ending seemed kinda bland, since until then it was so amatzscheronising. Oh well, that definitely didn't ruin the movie, although I felt like it would've been much more awesome if there was something about what happened afterwards. Then again, apparently they'll be making a sequel, so I won't complain. Hopefully it'll be at least three hours long, that'd be epic... :0

And one funny thing: I could swear that when they were fighting in the city, the fat kaiju said "motherfucker" at one point. It was so clear, I'm pretty sure it was intentional. If not, it's either my ears malfunctioning or a funny coincidence.

Speaking of films I've watched lately, Phenomenon (1996) was fun. Sure, the plot was pretty stupid overall, and a lot of the music made me want to facepalm, but there were some funny parts and sad parts that actually were sad (but still with a funny undertone), although I'm not sure if that was intentional. Maybe it was supposed to be a drama and not a comedy with some dramaish moments, but was a failure at that. Doesn't really matter, though, since it was entertaining to watch and the "tentacle" thing in the end... well, Davy Jones, 'nuff said. (Yeah, I know, it was older than the Pirates of the Caribbean films, but still, for some reason, the mental image of tentacles coming out of John Travolta's mouth and ears makes me think of Davy Jones (and yes, I know, it was a tumour, and tumours don't give you cephalopod-parts, but it was referred to as tentacles, and there are only two things that tentacles exist for: Davy Jones and porn))

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Sugracine (2013) + future plans

Yeah, this album sucks for the most part, but I still wanted to upload it everywhere and shit. Isn't that how babies are made?
01. Bepurpalusk
02. North Korea
03. Projectile Tentacle Pathogen
04. Shadows
05. Paradise
06. A Plumber's Wet Pipe Dream
07. Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox
08. Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia
09. Mermaids and Magic Wands
10. Stains (of a Princess)

Download from Mediafire or from Bandcamp

...and I messed up the order of the songs, but I was too lazy to fix it, since I already uploaded it to Mediafire and half to Bandcamp. It was supposed to be so that "Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox" and "Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia" are the other way around, but it doesn't really matter, since they both sound like absolute shit. :P


Anyway, there will be a much better album later, not sure if this year or next, since I'm kinda slow at doing stuff that's actually even remotely good... but if you want a preview of what kind of stuff that will be, listen "Biomechanochemical Agglomeration of the Behemoths" and "SW☆G". Heaviness will vary, of course, but at least a few more songs will have kinda death metalish parts, unless I totally screw up and get tired of doing that or something.

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Lars Dreams (short story)

Today, Lars woke up with his feet aching. He'd never felt pain in his extremities before, so this was a new sensation for him, a new experience to write about. You see, Lars was a writer. Not a very good one, but one who got famous by writing about hot chicks having sex with hot guys, with quite a few of his books made into pseudo-pornographic films.

”I'm probably dying,” he grunted, looking down at his toes. All mangled and red, like he'd kicked at the bedposts. Then he realised that that was exactly what he had done, he'd dreamt of muggers in a bus. He fought hard, but not hard enough, since they took all his money.

Why did he think he was dying? Well, it's simple. Little Lars was already in his late fifties, and he'd always been the type to sustain an unhealthy diet ever since he was a kid. Today, though, was very different. His feet hurt like hell, and he'd never hurt like hell before. Only little pains, corresponding with his height and body fat.

Suddenly, a fierce grope on his stomach. This was it, he was taking his last breath. What a long and painful breath it was...


Lars woke up with his feet aching. He'd never felt pain in his extremities before, or anywhere else, so this was a new and exciting sensation. You see, Lars was a fetus. Not a very developed one, but one who got famous by spending ten years too long in his mother's womb. Upon birth, he surprised and baffled doctors all over the world by being alive, having dreamt of sex with hot chicks and hot guys those long years, dreamt of writing, having films made from his writings, and had a nightmare of his own death.

Now, Lars had a shot at real life. He could make those dreams come true, and he did; He became a famous writer with films made from his books, he married a beautiful woman half his age (if the years he spent in the uterus are included) and had children. Then, one day, he got mugged in the bus on the way home. He was stabbed, and later that night he died peacefully in his sleep.

What does Lars dream of now?


...yeah, this was just a thingy that came from an idea I had, about a guy who was a lithopedion and what life as one would be like. But yeah, it's really stupid.

Monday, 26 August 2013

New Smunctrum song, "Hungry Swarth"

So, here's finally a song that's ready to be uploaded in its entirety, and it'll be on the album that's in the process of being made... and there won't be any physical copies of it (unless some record label is up for charity, heh), even though that'd be cool. It's just that it'd be really difficult to arrange, both in terms of actually releasing it like that and how profits would be split.

I did most of the vocals, but around 0:30 and 1:00 is Jesus, and 2:50+ is DK. And of course, I did drum programming, too. Jesus and Nves recorded the guitar stuffs, and the latter also the bass. Not sure what the genre is, but industrial black metal and noisecore seem to be the most descriptive labels. Blackcore, of course, but that'd get the haters going a lot faster.

Thursday, 15 August 2013

West Texania

Yeah.  Blah blah, West Texania, the state that shares borders with Texas and West Virginia. They're really fucking inbred and believe that George W. Bush invented dubstep. Any questions?

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Disgusting vs disturbing

This subject has been ranted to death by some people, but I'll have to join that long line of annoyed individuals. Every time there's lists of "the most disturbing films" or such, they're ones filled with blood, guts and shit and so on. That's not disturbing, that's disgusting. Disturbing would be, for example, if you're watching a film that seems to be a happy family comedy, but it's just creeping the shit out of you for some reason; maybe it's the way the smile, or maybe they casually cook human bodyparts like it's the norm, it could be that one of them has their face the wrong way, or maybe the plot focuses on a legless kid who's strapped himself on a pair of dogs to move. Or maybe you have no clue what the hell is going on, but it's fucking your mind up and traumatising you forever.

It should be pretty straight-forward to remember the rules of thumb:
If it makes you wanna roll over and puke, it's disgusting.
If it makes you wanna crawl up in a ball, it's disturbing

So why do so many people, including professional film/literary/etc. critics keep getting it mixed up? It could be because they do go hand in hand quite a lot of the time, but what everyone should always remember is that they've never been mutually exclusive; they're easily paired and combined, but they're not synonyms.

I mean, it's not like I have anything against people using words incorrectly so long as there's a reason for it, but I just don't understand the reason being following in famous, influential people's footsteps in this kind of things.

Thursday, 1 August 2013

New Smunctrum stuff

With some new members and a slight genre change, there'll be a full-length Smunctrum album sometime this year. Not sure when, since only three songs are done so far (and even they might not be 100% finished), but yeah. Here's a preview thingy to annoy people. Please, people who like it, get it going around the world like an STD. :P

And a necessary list of who's doing what, because yeah.

Nves (guitar, bass, programming)
Vlürch (vocals, programming) <-that's me, obviously
Jesus (guitar, sampling)
D.K. (vocals) yeah, I'm the only one who isn't also in MAXD. You might think it'd get kind of awkward, but I don't really know if it is. I mean, it's not like we'd ever meet in person.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Lyhyt juttu kakasta / Short thing about poop

~Käpy ja Papparainen (Kakan Tarina)~
Käpy pudotti kakkakikkareen papparaisen kädelle. Pappa mietti hetken partaansa haroen, kunnes lopulta totesi että kakkahan on ruskeaa. Käpy käveli onnen kukkuloille, pudotellen runsaasti kakkaa matkan varrelle.

Tarinan opetus? Kakka on usein ruskeaa.

For those who can't understand Finnish, well, here's an English translation. It doesn't translate perfectly, since a lot of the retardness comes from the choice for words, but well:

~A Cone and an Old Man (Story of Poop)~
A cone dropped a piece of poop on an old man's hand. The old man pondered for a while, fumbling with his beard, until eventually stating that the poop is, in fact, brown. The cone walked to the hills of happiness, dropping a lot of poop on the way.

The moral of the story?  Poop is often brown.

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Synthcorevolution (2013)

I've finished the new album, yay! It's kinda short, a little less than an hour, but I'm really proud of it.

01. Synthcorevolution
02. Lions in a Racecar Shoot-Out
03. The Skinner, the Gutter and the Boner
04. Miasmatic Ectoplasm Hallucinosis
05. Quadricephalic Heterosporous Endosymbiont
06. Cocktouch Mountain (remix)
07. Bepurpalusk
08. Apocalyptic Monument in the Sevenfold Vortex of Chaos
09. Ornamental Mummification of the Sequoian Demigods
10. Bumpreacher


If you like it, please go "like" on Facebook and tell your friends to listen, etc.

And here are all those unnecessary links to all the sites I've put my stuff to, just because.

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Dir en grey remix

I remixed "Zan" by Dir en grey into dubstep. Hopefully they won't be super mega offended if they somehow hear it. I naturally hope they would, you know, find it, but not be offended. Although if they/their label finds it and ask me to delete it, I obviously will immediately.

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Heave the Sun - Perditionism (2013)

I'm really proud of this album, especially because it's the most black metalish stuff I've ever done, although not just black metal. There are a few parts with clean vocals, so if you hate that, well, you don't have to listen those songs.


01. Mouthful of Festering Goat Entrails
02. Putrescent Stench of a Tomb
03. Intracranial Tongue Swarm
04. An Industrial Abyss
05. The Lair of Inbred Devil Worshippers
06. Monolithopedion
07. Necrophilic Ritual of Black Death

So, if you like this album, tell your friends about it, post it in your blog if you have one, blah blah blah, etc. Obviously, no one will ever even download it, so I'm just wasting my time typing this here. But if you do like it, don't be ashamed of that. It's nothing to be ashamed of if you like my music! Ok, maybe it is, but whatever.