Selling out, episode III: revenge of the bassboosted shit... AKA Vlürch - The Time of Nightmares (2025)

So, I just released a remastered compilation album of some of my darkest and heaviest songs. It's not free because, uhhh, like... being 30 made me realise it's possible to be "leftist" and "DIY" and still be like "ok maybe money would be nice", and anyway, it's just remastered (and in some cases slightly altered) versions of old songs that you could've downloaded for free for years until I decided to become a sellout, so you're not missing anything if you ignore it... but if you're a "fan" and actually prefer these bassier versions, etc. and want to buy my shit, go ahead.

https://vlyrch.bandcamp.com/album/the-time-of-nightmares

1. The Primordial Devourer
2. Umbra
3. Coulrophobia (feat. Jared Spry)
4. 奇形と死色
5. 死屍累々たる修羅場
6. Matriphagic Parthenogone
7. The Evil Eye Virus
8. Spasmodic Cochleate Moult
9. Flesh Halo
10. Penetralia
11. 万華鏡地獄の回転木馬
12. 人間の繭
13. The Wind That Shreds Flesh
14. Detritivore
15. Reverence for the Open Mouth
16. Eclosion

Selling out, episode II: Attack of the Bandcamps

 So, my Bandcamp page ran out of free downloads. Now's your chance to easily get all of my releases (there are 69... nice🫣) conveniently in one go, although you'll have to pay... but I realised the default prices can be lowered, so you'll have to pay just 12€ for my entire discography.
https://vlyrch.bandcamp.com/

Selling out

I've decided to set some of my releases to "name your price" on Bandcamp, meaning people can pay for them if they want. No idea why anyone would, but well, I guess if you want to flaunt just how much of a trve kvlt underground hipster or whatever your are on Bandcamp, that's one way to do it since then they'd show up in your "collection" on that site lol.

https://vlyrch.bandcamp.com/music

Vlürch - Empyreal Obtenebration (2022)

 The new album is finished! It would've ended up longer and better if I didn't stick to my "one album per year" schedule, but I feel like I need to stick to that schedule or I'll risk getting just as sporadic with solo releases as Deformed Elephant Surgery, so... yeah, this album may not be perfect (as if anything I did was), but at least I hope some people will find it listenable.

01. Holometabolic Heteromorphosis
02. Coulrophobia (feat. Jared Spry)
03. Matriphagic Parthenogone
04. Empyreal Obtenebration
05. Offal of Farlies
06. Synderesis (feat. Slow Crone)
07. The Inherence of Existential Dread
08. The Wind That Shreds Flesh
09. Apeiromania
10. Trypophilia (feat. Puke Borb)
11. The Feathered Serpent
12. Phantasmal Palingenesis

Click on song titles to listen on Youtube, or alternatively here as one video.
Also on Bandcamp, where it's free to download.

I should probably explain why this album has the same title as an album I made as Heave the Sun back in 2012 (ten years ago wtf!) since some people might think "really? is THIS how little creativity you have left???". Basically, as soon as that album was finished, I thought "I want to do better versions of these songs later", and in 2020 I already did a new version of "Feeding the Demiurge" for the album "Numen" (not necessarily a better version, since I couldn't figure out how to recreate that weird synth sound from the original song anymore, but...)

 So, doing new versions of the other songs from that album is what I meant to do on this album, but... well, it didn't exactly turn out that way, since it's just the title track. Still, it's the title track of that album, so I thought I should call this album with the same name. Makes sense, right? I really wanted to do new versions of "Living Shadows of Abraxas" and "Venom of the Seraphim", too, but there was some shit that made me not have enough time or motivation. So, I might expand this album later, if I get around to it in 2023 or even later... who knows.

"Coulrophobia" and "Synderesis" were already released as singles, but I'll still mention how happy I am about Jared Spry's sax magic on the former and Slow Crone's guitar solo on the latter! Those songs just wouldn't be the same without their contributions, so... yeah. Also, another friend who wanted to remain anonymous (so he went by Puke Borb lol) did microtonal guitar to a couple of parts of "Trypophilia", which is pretty epic, really enhanced the atmosphere!

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Neuron Activation (2022)

Here's a new Deformed Elephant Surgery song, with a new guitarist/bassist, Joey Mousepad!

Listen on Youtube, CLICK HERE.

Download from Bandcamp, CLICK HERE.

Vlürch - Enlightenment and Annihilation (2021)

This album is just remastered versions of the more black metal-leaning songs from "Numen", a few of them have minor differences but that's literally it. The actual new album is coming soon, I promise. Just figured I should release this first, since, you know, it's less important.

01. Enlightenment and Annihilation

02. The Night the Sun Will Set in the East

03. Ouroboros

04. Feeding the Demiurge

05. Adorcism

Click on song titles to listen on Youtube. Alternatively, the full album in one video.

 

Download from Bandcamp: click this

 

The only differences any of the songs have from the original versions is that "Feeding the Demiurge" doesn't have the jazzy part, and "Adorcism" has new vocals at the end.

All of the songs are brickwalled to hell and back, because why would I do remastered versions of them if I wasn't going to brickwall them? You might say "wtf they were already brickwalled" and you wouldn't be wrong, but now they're doubly brickwalled! So if you want your metal to leave your ears ringing, this might just be your cup of tea. If you don't want that, then you may want to avoid this.

Vlürch & Silver Linings - Plastered / Waiting (2019)

So, I collabed with Silver Linings. The result is pretty dark.

01. Vlürch - Plastered with Polaroids of Dead Children (feat. Silver Linings)
02. Silver Linings - Waiting for... (feat. Vlürch)

DOWNLOAD from Bandcamp
DOWNLOAD from Mediafire

Basically, it's a split, but we both did something to each other's songs. More noticeably Silver Linings did guitar, some of the vocals and synth stuff in my song (as well as generally making it better) whereas I just did some vocals at a couple of parts in his song. The cover art was also split, as you can see; he did the bottom/left half and I did the top/right half.

Vlürch - 奇形と死色 (2018)

Well, here it is...

01. 奇形と死色
02. 孑孓の暃
03. The Evil Eye Virus
04. Polymorphic Mirage
05. Waxen Mooncalf
06. 蜜人
07. Spasmodic Cochleate Moult
08. Gravid Antidune
09. 虹光身
10. Mercurial Backslider
11. Astral Body Snatcher
12. 餓鬼蟲
13. Body Horror Vacui
14. Bioluminescent Cyclorama
15. System Idol Process

(Click here to listen to the album in its entirety on Youtube.)

DOWNLOAD FROM BANDCAMP

~

ATTENTION, YOUTUBE REACTORS!!! If you make album reaction videos, please react to this album! I'd really like to see people's faces and/or hear what they say when they hear some of this stuff for the first time, regardless of whether they're negative or positive reactions.

...or if you're more generally a reviewer, please review it!

Vlürch - Psychotronic Eschaton (2018)

1. Igniferous Aerial Juggernaut
2. The Primordial Devourer
3. Reverence for the Open Mouth
4. Deserts of Flesh
5. Psychotronic Eschaton

Click song titles to listen on Youtube. Also as a playlist, if you prefer.

Download from Bandcamp.
...or from Mediafire.

This is definitely my heaviest and noisiest album, but also the most accessible in the sense that it's probably the closest to any genre of standard metal I've ever done. The title track does push into some kind of avant-garde territory, though, I guess.

Vlürch - 黑魔經 (2016) + Kenosis (remastered) (2018)

Somehow I forgot to post the 2016 album, 黑魔經, when I finished it in the October of that year, even though it's almost certainly my best album ever. I'm not sure how I managed to do that... and by "that" I mean both the album and forgetting to post about it. Well, here it is now, a year and a half late.

黑魔經

Click song titles to listen on Youtube individually, or click here for the playlist.
01. Hellmouthgasm
02. 黑魔經
03. Postmodern Perspectives on Postmortem Penetration
04. Necromantic Haruspex
05. Leathermen of God
06. 無限快楽
07. 臟渦
08. Love Doll Love Triangle
09. Abscission
10. Black Mass Media Circus

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

~

I also decided to remaster the 2014 album, Kenosis. Now it sounds a lot better, or at least louder. New album art, too, an edit of a famous painting of Jesus, which is somewhat more fitting considering the religious themes of the album. Whether it's pro-religious or anti-religious is up to the listener to decide, within reasonable limits.

Kenosis (remastered)

Click song titles to listen on Youtube; it's the full album, so the links are (approximately) to the beginning of each song.
01. Samsara
02. Manala
03. Pandora Deliria
04. Rahu
05. The Cloven Visitor
06. Apotheosis
07. Kenosis
08. Naraka

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

The song Naraka is slightly shorter than originally; I cut the kinda random pop-ish part with clean vocals because it felt a little out of place. The title track also has a small change in the buildup to the chorus (if it can be called that), giving it more impact.

Vlürch - Viral Menticide (2017)

Yeah, that's Comic Sans in the album art.

01. Hidden Tornado Escalator
02. Ouroboric Phantasmagoria
03. Viral Menticide
04. The Great Pelvic Horn
05. Mother Nature
06. Fun City (feat. my dad)
07. Flesh Halo
08. 密室
09. Napalm Rimjob
10. Hogtied Prayer Technique
11. Magnetic Signpost Hallucination
Click on song titles to listen on Youtube.

DOWNLOAD FROM BANDCAMP
DOWNLOAD FROM MEDIAFIRE

I was worried I wouldn't finish an album this year, but I did. Just in time for Finland's 100th independence day, too, even though I forgot to post it in this blog. Whether any of the songs are actually listenable is another matter entirely, though... but I'm still proud of how this turned out; well, at least certain parts of certain songs, anyway.

Vlürch - Neon Pornocopia (2014)

×××XXX×××

1. Percussive Alchemy
2. Larvae in the Trance Clone Unit
3. Sensual Undulation
4. Romantic Dildo Exorcism
5. Magical Reverse Cowgirl Scouts
6. Oxymoronic Florilegium: Heath Priviledger's Mindfuck Parade (the police are coming, hide the sausage!)
7. Šiçılıəsk a Hşaj (नरक·स्वर्ग + 蛇魔神の呪われた神聖黒石 + 나가·죽지않는황제 + ஙਗ੍ਰੂਮ੍ਹ옖ഷുംઍվ)
Click song titles to listen on Youtube.

Download from Mediafire, or Bandcamp.

I'm pretty proud of this album, even though "Kenosis" is probably a lot better in every way except that this is weirder and much more experimental.

Vlürch - Kenosis (2014)

ပျိူံ့းཀྨཱིཾ་ဌ်ာံ့ঙৣঁঃ　　｜　　०͕̫̖̝̯̞́ϟ͎̻̰̞ⴕ̦̼̺͎͎̤̙̀͐̽̓͒ͣￛ͂̌́͑ͯⴑͫ̋̉̄͂ͫ̀८͐ͤ̈́◜̇̈́̑̎̓ͦ̈◜̣̙̺̿̉ͨͯ̚ϡ̪̅ͯ̎̽̒　　｜　　ૐॐༀ៚

1. Samsara
2. Manala
3. Pandora Deliria
4. Rahu
5. The Cloven Visitor
6. Apotheosis
7. Kenosis
8. Naraka
Click song titles to listen on Youtube.

Download: click here
You can also download it from Bandcamp if you prefer that.

०८◜◜०ⴕੴ

So, I just finished this new album. It's pretty epic if I can say so myself. Most of the songs have lyrics in random as fuck mixtures of various languages and plain and simple gibberish, though there's some English as well, and whenever any of it makes any sense it's something about religion and mythologies. Not in a way that's pro-religion or anti-religion, just about that stuff. Anyway, I hope people like it, but if not, tell me why because I honestly think it turned out better than anything I've ever done before; I mean, this is a bit like how I wanted "Empyreal Obtenebration" to sound but just wasn't good enough at anything yet to do that, but on the other hand there isn't all that much in-your-face synth stuff*. And I don't sound like Gollum anymore when I sing clean vocals, at least not unless I want to. Anyway, let me know what you think if you listen!

Here's my Facebook page, by the way, if you wanna "like" it.

*Speaking of which, I kinda want to do a new, better version of "Feeding the Demiurge" one day in the future. The reason I haven't already is that I have no clue how I got that weird ass synth sound and haven't succeeded in getting that type of a sound again. Even if it sounds ridiculously bad and doesn't fit the song, I feel like it's an important part of what makes that song what it is and if I'm gonna do a better version of it, well... it'd need to have that anyway. Maybe if I get in that successful mood without having to arse too much, I'll also do a new version of "Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze". I probably wouldn't make it as dissonant, though...

St. Kain & Wormwood - Lachrymose Mesoglea (2014)

So, here it is: my collab with Onesimus Kain. It's pretty awesome, if I can say that without sounding like half a douchebag. :3

01. Explosive Ophthalmectomy
02. web in ur brains
03. An Adam's Apple a Day Keeps the Witch Doctor Away
04. A Hand, Crumbling
05. Told You to Run
06. A Hole in One Man's Meat is Another Man's God
07. To the Bears

DOWNLOAD

So... yeah. Download it, and be like "I was among the first to download it before these guys became famous as all hell", because that's totally gonna happen. I-I mean... w-why are you l-looking at m-me like t-that? D-did I... oh. Oh. Ok.

(I might write some longer rant about how awesome it turned out and how smoothly things went collabing with Ness, but I'm not sure. Right now, though, I'm not nearly in an objective enough state of mind to do that. XD)

Heave the Sun - Evangelium Carnis Angelorum (2014) + Vlürch - Baroquérotique

I've finally finished this album... and I'm proud of it, even though it's not nearly as good as I'd wanted it to turn out. Anyway, here it is, and it's mostly some sort of industrial black metal/drone/dark ambient/whatever stuff.

Listen on Youtube, click the song titles:
01. The Baptismal Gallows
02. The Angel of the Lord of the Flies
03. Laparotomic Voyage Simulator
04. The Black Ulcer Blossoms
05. Rat King

Download from Mediafire: click <-320 kbps
Download from Bandcamp: click

Here's the album art thing:

~

Aand I also did some neoclassical stuff, or at least tried. I decided to call that song "Baroquérotique", since that's an awesome blend and it has apparently not been used as a song title before... I'm pretty sure I'll do more, so that's why it's "part 1" and "demo".

Listen on Youtube: click

Or on Bandcamp, where you can download it for free from (but the player thing sucks sideways assballs, so I recommend listening it on Youtube): click.

Vlürch - ...but what is art? (2014)

I've finished a new album, which is all improvised stuff on acoustic guitar. Kind of like some sort of hipster jazz, but not really seriously. It's a little bit dissonant at parts and almost everything is out of tune, so if you're not into that, you might experience intense bowel movements, nausea, headaches, urges to rape children and burn churches. So, if you're not a total hipster, please, for the safety of others and yourself, don't listen.

I uploaded the whole album on Youtube, click this.
Download for free from Bandcamp, click here.

01. The concept of fine art is bullshit, but not all pictures of shitting bulls are art
02. Art is good for children, but are children good for art?
03. If life imitates art and life's a bitch, doesn't that mean that art is a bitch?
04. True art is a representation of an artist's subconscious desire for asexual reproduction
05. Now, what do you say to strangers who give you art?

Heave the Sun - Laparotomic Voyage Simulator + how to do static lol + some shitty bird

I made some ambient again, and it turned out a little like some sort of ambient jazz or something. Click here to listen on Youtube, and download from Bandcamp. I'm pretty proud of it, even though it's kinda lame and really calm and stuff; I've already added some guitar stuff to it at a few parts and have plans, but I'm not sure if I can make it any better without changing too many things for it to be the same song. And here's an artwork thingy.

Yes, that's a butterfly with a dick and a pineapple with a vagina. No reason to be confused.

Also, I made a tutorial video of how to make a rain sound and the type of static that old recordings sometimes have. Is it useful? Probably not, but I thought it was the best way to demonstrate why I'm falling in love with the VST called Anenome, which I also used for that warm, fuzzy synth in "Laparotomic Voyage Simulator". :P



I also made a video of doing a shitty-looking bird in Photoshop, because I was bored. It looks like total shit, so don't tell me that I suck at art; I know I do, but if I put effort into it, I can do some okay-looking stuff (at least in terms of photomanipulation and such, and digital painting/whatever if I'm not rushing it, but I always rush it because I get bored and lazy).



Anyway, the music in that latter video is something I'm pretty satisfied with, apart from the string pad thing being way too loud (I've already fixed that and made the song a little bit longer), and am gonna keep working on that song. I hope it'll end up turning out cool, but it probably won't. Doesn't matter, though, because things have been nice lately and my life is so much better than I'd deserve, I'm happier than in a long, long time. :D

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Anecdotal Equine Ballistics (2014)

I've finished a new EP! It's pretty short, but I've been kinda busy with other things, so whatever.

01. Accidental Equine Transvection
02. Equilibration of the Crystallized Spirits
03. Intersex Lotus Juxtaposition
04. Transfigurative Iridescent Desiccation
Click the song names to listen on Youtube.

Download for free from Bandcamp, clicky-clicky-click. I also included instrumental versions of all the songs.

Um, bronies + pink unicorns + new DES song

Sometimes, people think I'm a brony. I mean, I get it; I like colourful unicorns and rainbows, I like the emoticon :3, I come across as immature sometimes, some of my music appeals to bronies, I like anything that would make any late scene kid scream "KAWAIIIII~" from the bottom of their lungs, I often like bronies and bronettes, etc... but I don't like My Little Pony.

And yes, I've tried to get into MLP, but I just can't bring myself to watch even one episode without facepalming my palms sweatier than Eminem after hearing that MGK thinks his daughter is hot. Does that mean I hate it and every brony/bronette in existence? Fuck no.

So, if you're a brony/bronette, don't hate me, because I probably think you're one pretty cool ass awesome person.

Oh, and I know the female equivalent of a brony is actually "pegasister", but that's too much like Peg-A-Sister, which sounds like an incestuous version of Whack-A-Mole... a game where any number of female participants stand on one side of a wall with a gloryhole for each, the single male participant on the other side given freedom to insert his penis into these holes to engage in penetrative sex with the corresponding female participants, but he has to choose one. There's a timer that runs down from a number of minutes equal to the amount of female participants. If he's fucking his sister when the timer runs out, he wins and the prize is to have one of his testicles surgically removed and a literal slap on the wrist. If, on the other hand, he's fucking anybody but his sister when the timer runs out, his dick and balls will be stuffed through a meatgrinder and the word "rapist" tattooed on his forehead. His sister will then win 100 000€ in compensation for physical and emotional suffering, and each of the other participants will receive therapy/counselling because it probably hurts to have sex with a guy who thinks he's fucking his own sister.

...and now that that's off the way, moving on to another subject. I present to you, a pink unicorn with cheesy glitter nipples being molested by tentacles! (Click it for full size.)

Ignore the fact that there's no tail, I forgot and got lazy... but you'll get plenty of that in just a moment, so don't get on my ass about it or anything. This is probably one of the best art-things I've ever done, so I'm really proud. I don't know if I should be, but I am.

I also posted it on Tumblr. In case it's not painfully obvious what my url is, it's vlyrch.tumblr.com because I'm imaginative like that. That was sarcasm, by the way, if someone's deaf/blind to that. I can't come up with names for things easily, and so I usually go with the most obvious, lame and boring thing ever. That applies to lyrics and song titles, album titles, etc. even more than anything else, so yeah... creativity and stuff comes naturally, but organisation... eh... not so much.

...and since it's one of my great dreams in life to find a horse and strap a dildo on its head... creating the first real-life specimen of a whole new subspecies of unicorn to-be-labelled equus unicornis phallicus... and set up cameras to record the owner's reaction, make a song with samples from his/her noises, then get someone to edit the video to be awesome with flashy effects and shit as a music video... but my balls aren't nearly big enough to do that, so I have to settle for something less dramatic and epic. A lot less dramatic. Even less epic.

It's yet another pink unicorn, only this one is... well... the most blatantly Freudian incarnation of unicorn symbolism? (Again, click to make it bigger.)

As you can see, I spent way too much time on making the penis detailed. Is that a bad thing? Does it make me a pervert? Well, let me tell you: it doesn't. Because, I mean, if I was a pervert, I'd do something kinky with a phallic unicorn. But I wouldn't, so I can't be a pervert. Not that kinda pervert, at least. Like, what kind of a sick fuck would dare touch that glorious cock? What. Did that sound as gay as I think it did? Doesn't matter. I'm not gay for unicorns, or mostly gay in general, unless we're talking about a certain guy. Or a bunch of guys, really. But I'm mostly straight, so...

...

And last night (or... whenever the fuck that was), I was just minding my own business, doing nothing, really, when I suddenly noticed that there had been two more "likes" on Facebook... and now, it just blows my mind. THERE ARE SIX HUNDRED PEOPLE WHO LIKE MY MUSIC. WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL SHIT?!?!!?

THANKS, EVERYONE, FOR SUPPORTING ME!!!

Sadly, I literally haven't finished even one song since "Rushed Light Onset" yet, apart from this one and a shitty goregrind thing... oh well. I tried to make this a little more "structural" than most stuff I've done, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, here's "Accidental Equine Transvection", which ended up sounding pretty cool in my own humble(?) opinion:



EDIT, 23rd of April:
Included the new version of the song, which you can download from Bandcamp for free: click here, along with the EP that it's on, "Anecdotal Equine Ballistics".

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Sugracine (2013) + future plans

Yeah, this album sucks for the most part, but I still wanted to upload it everywhere and shit. Isn't that how babies are made?

01. Bepurpalusk
02. North Korea
03. Projectile Tentacle Pathogen
04. Shadows
05. Paradise
06. A Plumber's Wet Pipe Dream
07. Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox
08. Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia
09. Mermaids and Magic Wands
10. Stains (of a Princess)

Download from Mediafire or from Bandcamp

...and I messed up the order of the songs, but I was too lazy to fix it, since I already uploaded it to Mediafire and half to Bandcamp. It was supposed to be so that "Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox" and "Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia" are the other way around, but it doesn't really matter, since they both sound like absolute shit. :P

~

Anyway, there will be a much better album later, not sure if this year or next, since I'm kinda slow at doing stuff that's actually even remotely good... but if you want a preview of what kind of stuff that will be, listen "Biomechanochemical Agglomeration of the Behemoths" and "SW☆G". Heaviness will vary, of course, but at least a few more songs will have kinda death metalish parts, unless I totally screw up and get tired of doing that or something.