Deformed Elephant Surgery - Neuron Activation (2022)

Here's a new Deformed Elephant Surgery song, with a new guitarist/bassist, Joey Mousepad!

Listen on Youtube, CLICK HERE.

Download from Bandcamp, CLICK HERE.

Vlürch - Enlightenment and Annihilation (2021)

This album is just remastered versions of the more black metal-leaning songs from "Numen", a few of them have minor differences but that's literally it. The actual new album is coming soon, I promise. Just figured I should release this first, since, you know, it's less important.

01. Enlightenment and Annihilation

02. The Night the Sun Will Set in the East

03. Ouroboros

04. Feeding the Demiurge

05. Adorcism

Click on song titles to listen on Youtube. Alternatively, the full album in one video.

 

Download from Bandcamp: click this

 

The only differences any of the songs have from the original versions is that "Feeding the Demiurge" doesn't have the jazzy part, and "Adorcism" has new vocals at the end.

All of the songs are brickwalled to hell and back, because why would I do remastered versions of them if I wasn't going to brickwall them? You might say "wtf they were already brickwalled" and you wouldn't be wrong, but now they're doubly brickwalled! So if you want your metal to leave your ears ringing, this might just be your cup of tea. If you don't want that, then you may want to avoid this.

My story was translated and narrated by a German creepypasta Youtuber?!

Last December, I wrote a story called Moult and posted it on the Creepypasta Wiki. The next day, somebody commented on it. To this day, it's the only comment on the story, a clear indicator that very few people have even read it.

...but last night, I found out that some dude had translated it into German and narrated it on his Youtube channel called Hellscythe German Creepypasta!😳 The video has over 30,000 views and over a thousand likes, which is absolutely baffling to me since, you know, the original story itself has probably been read only a dozen or so times. So, one of those few people who read it then put in the effort to translate it, narrate it and upload it to Youtube. He even included a link to the story in the video description, which I've heard is something a lot of creepypasta narrators on Youtube don't do. You can't imagine how happy this makes me.😊

Contrary to popular belief what a handful of people have assumed, I don't speak German (I only know a couple of words and very basic grammar), so I can't tell whether the translation is faithful or if something was changed, but I'd at least like to assume that the only changes, if any, would be ones that make sense in the context of translation; I know translating stuff can be difficult and time-consuming, and I'm also aware my writing style is a bit wonky at times.

If one of the three(?) people reading this blog post happens to know German and has the patience to sit through the 23 minutes of German narration while simultaneously reading the original in English, I'd like to know if there are any obvious mistranslations or such. I'd be especially interested in how he handled file-virus, considering that was intended to be a mispronunciation of filovirus; I can hear the word virus in the narration, but... well, like I said, I don't understand German haha. It's about 17 minutes into the video.

Running all the comments through Google Translate, I found out that there are several people who'd like a sequel. It's something I've been considering ever since I finished the story, but now I finally got the motivation to actually start writing one. No idea when it'll be finished, but I'm off to a good start.

Vlürch - 奇形と死色 (2018)

Well, here it is...

01. 奇形と死色
02. 孑孓の暃
03. The Evil Eye Virus
04. Polymorphic Mirage
05. Waxen Mooncalf
06. 蜜人
07. Spasmodic Cochleate Moult
08. Gravid Antidune
09. 虹光身
10. Mercurial Backslider
11. Astral Body Snatcher
12. 餓鬼蟲
13. Body Horror Vacui
14. Bioluminescent Cyclorama
15. System Idol Process

(Click here to listen to the album in its entirety on Youtube.)

DOWNLOAD FROM BANDCAMP

~

ATTENTION, YOUTUBE REACTORS!!! If you make album reaction videos, please react to this album! I'd really like to see people's faces and/or hear what they say when they hear some of this stuff for the first time, regardless of whether they're negative or positive reactions.

...or if you're more generally a reviewer, please review it!

Vlürch - 黑魔經 (2016) + Kenosis (remastered) (2018)

Somehow I forgot to post the 2016 album, 黑魔經, when I finished it in the October of that year, even though it's almost certainly my best album ever. I'm not sure how I managed to do that... and by "that" I mean both the album and forgetting to post about it. Well, here it is now, a year and a half late.

黑魔經

Click song titles to listen on Youtube individually, or click here for the playlist.
01. Hellmouthgasm
02. 黑魔經
03. Postmodern Perspectives on Postmortem Penetration
04. Necromantic Haruspex
05. Leathermen of God
06. 無限快楽
07. 臟渦
08. Love Doll Love Triangle
09. Abscission
10. Black Mass Media Circus

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

~

I also decided to remaster the 2014 album, Kenosis. Now it sounds a lot better, or at least louder. New album art, too, an edit of a famous painting of Jesus, which is somewhat more fitting considering the religious themes of the album. Whether it's pro-religious or anti-religious is up to the listener to decide, within reasonable limits.

Kenosis (remastered)

Click song titles to listen on Youtube; it's the full album, so the links are (approximately) to the beginning of each song.
01. Samsara
02. Manala
03. Pandora Deliria
04. Rahu
05. The Cloven Visitor
06. Apotheosis
07. Kenosis
08. Naraka

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

The song Naraka is slightly shorter than originally; I cut the kinda random pop-ish part with clean vocals because it felt a little out of place. The title track also has a small change in the buildup to the chorus (if it can be called that), giving it more impact.

Vlürch - Viral Menticide (2017)

Yeah, that's Comic Sans in the album art.

01. Hidden Tornado Escalator
02. Ouroboric Phantasmagoria
03. Viral Menticide
04. The Great Pelvic Horn
05. Mother Nature
06. Fun City (feat. my dad)
07. Flesh Halo
08. 密室
09. Napalm Rimjob
10. Hogtied Prayer Technique
11. Magnetic Signpost Hallucination
Click on song titles to listen on Youtube.

DOWNLOAD FROM BANDCAMP
DOWNLOAD FROM MEDIAFIRE

I was worried I wouldn't finish an album this year, but I did. Just in time for Finland's 100th independence day, too, even though I forgot to post it in this blog. Whether any of the songs are actually listenable is another matter entirely, though... but I'm still proud of how this turned out; well, at least certain parts of certain songs, anyway.

Vlürch - Neon Pornocopia (2014)

×××XXX×××

1. Percussive Alchemy
2. Larvae in the Trance Clone Unit
3. Sensual Undulation
4. Romantic Dildo Exorcism
5. Magical Reverse Cowgirl Scouts
6. Oxymoronic Florilegium: Heath Priviledger's Mindfuck Parade (the police are coming, hide the sausage!)
7. Šiçılıəsk a Hşaj (नरक·स्वर्ग + 蛇魔神の呪われた神聖黒石 + 나가·죽지않는황제 + ஙਗ੍ਰੂਮ੍ਹ옖ഷുംઍվ)
Click song titles to listen on Youtube.

Download from Mediafire, or Bandcamp.

I'm pretty proud of this album, even though "Kenosis" is probably a lot better in every way except that this is weirder and much more experimental.

Vlürch - Kenosis (2014)

ပျိူံ့းཀྨཱིཾ་ဌ်ာံ့ঙৣঁঃ　　｜　　०͕̫̖̝̯̞́ϟ͎̻̰̞ⴕ̦̼̺͎͎̤̙̀͐̽̓͒ͣￛ͂̌́͑ͯⴑͫ̋̉̄͂ͫ̀८͐ͤ̈́◜̇̈́̑̎̓ͦ̈◜̣̙̺̿̉ͨͯ̚ϡ̪̅ͯ̎̽̒　　｜　　ૐॐༀ៚

1. Samsara
2. Manala
3. Pandora Deliria
4. Rahu
5. The Cloven Visitor
6. Apotheosis
7. Kenosis
8. Naraka
Click song titles to listen on Youtube.

Download: click here
You can also download it from Bandcamp if you prefer that.

०८◜◜०ⴕੴ

So, I just finished this new album. It's pretty epic if I can say so myself. Most of the songs have lyrics in random as fuck mixtures of various languages and plain and simple gibberish, though there's some English as well, and whenever any of it makes any sense it's something about religion and mythologies. Not in a way that's pro-religion or anti-religion, just about that stuff. Anyway, I hope people like it, but if not, tell me why because I honestly think it turned out better than anything I've ever done before; I mean, this is a bit like how I wanted "Empyreal Obtenebration" to sound but just wasn't good enough at anything yet to do that, but on the other hand there isn't all that much in-your-face synth stuff*. And I don't sound like Gollum anymore when I sing clean vocals, at least not unless I want to. Anyway, let me know what you think if you listen!

Here's my Facebook page, by the way, if you wanna "like" it.

*Speaking of which, I kinda want to do a new, better version of "Feeding the Demiurge" one day in the future. The reason I haven't already is that I have no clue how I got that weird ass synth sound and haven't succeeded in getting that type of a sound again. Even if it sounds ridiculously bad and doesn't fit the song, I feel like it's an important part of what makes that song what it is and if I'm gonna do a better version of it, well... it'd need to have that anyway. Maybe if I get in that successful mood without having to arse too much, I'll also do a new version of "Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze". I probably wouldn't make it as dissonant, though...

Heave the Sun - Evangelium Carnis Angelorum (2014) + Vlürch - Baroquérotique

I've finally finished this album... and I'm proud of it, even though it's not nearly as good as I'd wanted it to turn out. Anyway, here it is, and it's mostly some sort of industrial black metal/drone/dark ambient/whatever stuff.

Listen on Youtube, click the song titles:
01. The Baptismal Gallows
02. The Angel of the Lord of the Flies
03. Laparotomic Voyage Simulator
04. The Black Ulcer Blossoms
05. Rat King

Download from Mediafire: click <-320 kbps
Download from Bandcamp: click

Here's the album art thing:

~

Aand I also did some neoclassical stuff, or at least tried. I decided to call that song "Baroquérotique", since that's an awesome blend and it has apparently not been used as a song title before... I'm pretty sure I'll do more, so that's why it's "part 1" and "demo".

Listen on Youtube: click

Or on Bandcamp, where you can download it for free from (but the player thing sucks sideways assballs, so I recommend listening it on Youtube): click.

Vlürch - ...but what is art? (2014)

I've finished a new album, which is all improvised stuff on acoustic guitar. Kind of like some sort of hipster jazz, but not really seriously. It's a little bit dissonant at parts and almost everything is out of tune, so if you're not into that, you might experience intense bowel movements, nausea, headaches, urges to rape children and burn churches. So, if you're not a total hipster, please, for the safety of others and yourself, don't listen.

I uploaded the whole album on Youtube, click this.
Download for free from Bandcamp, click here.

01. The concept of fine art is bullshit, but not all pictures of shitting bulls are art
02. Art is good for children, but are children good for art?
03. If life imitates art and life's a bitch, doesn't that mean that art is a bitch?
04. True art is a representation of an artist's subconscious desire for asexual reproduction
05. Now, what do you say to strangers who give you art?

Heave the Sun - Laparotomic Voyage Simulator + how to do static lol + some shitty bird

I made some ambient again, and it turned out a little like some sort of ambient jazz or something. Click here to listen on Youtube, and download from Bandcamp. I'm pretty proud of it, even though it's kinda lame and really calm and stuff; I've already added some guitar stuff to it at a few parts and have plans, but I'm not sure if I can make it any better without changing too many things for it to be the same song. And here's an artwork thingy.

Yes, that's a butterfly with a dick and a pineapple with a vagina. No reason to be confused.

Also, I made a tutorial video of how to make a rain sound and the type of static that old recordings sometimes have. Is it useful? Probably not, but I thought it was the best way to demonstrate why I'm falling in love with the VST called Anenome, which I also used for that warm, fuzzy synth in "Laparotomic Voyage Simulator". :P



I also made a video of doing a shitty-looking bird in Photoshop, because I was bored. It looks like total shit, so don't tell me that I suck at art; I know I do, but if I put effort into it, I can do some okay-looking stuff (at least in terms of photomanipulation and such, and digital painting/whatever if I'm not rushing it, but I always rush it because I get bored and lazy).



Anyway, the music in that latter video is something I'm pretty satisfied with, apart from the string pad thing being way too loud (I've already fixed that and made the song a little bit longer), and am gonna keep working on that song. I hope it'll end up turning out cool, but it probably won't. Doesn't matter, though, because things have been nice lately and my life is so much better than I'd deserve, I'm happier than in a long, long time. :D

I made a piano song

Like the title of this post indicates, I've finally succeeded in what I've wanted to do for a while; a sorta vaguely somewhat classicalish thing. It's not exactly at all like classical, but it's not all over the place all the time and it's just piano stuff, so maybe a little tiny bit kinda distantly classicalish.

Listen on Youtube
Or Tumblr

I called it "Spiral", because... well, I think it's fitting.

The main repetitive part of the song is just Hungarian minor and Ukrainian dorian scales from A with some parts that I didn't care about anything like that, because I generally don't care about scales or shit. Anyway, I'm proud of how it turned out, and my dad didn't hate it, so that's also a thing.

Oh, and don't complain if your hyperposh Western classical music ears find it not very comfortable at parts. It has a couple of pseudo-dissonant moments.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Anecdotal Equine Ballistics (2014)

I've finished a new EP! It's pretty short, but I've been kinda busy with other things, so whatever.

01. Accidental Equine Transvection
02. Equilibration of the Crystallized Spirits
03. Intersex Lotus Juxtaposition
04. Transfigurative Iridescent Desiccation
Click the song names to listen on Youtube.

Download for free from Bandcamp, clicky-clicky-click. I also included instrumental versions of all the songs.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Sugracine (2013) + future plans

Yeah, this album sucks for the most part, but I still wanted to upload it everywhere and shit. Isn't that how babies are made?

01. Bepurpalusk
02. North Korea
03. Projectile Tentacle Pathogen
04. Shadows
05. Paradise
06. A Plumber's Wet Pipe Dream
07. Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox
08. Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia
09. Mermaids and Magic Wands
10. Stains (of a Princess)

Download from Mediafire or from Bandcamp

...and I messed up the order of the songs, but I was too lazy to fix it, since I already uploaded it to Mediafire and half to Bandcamp. It was supposed to be so that "Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox" and "Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia" are the other way around, but it doesn't really matter, since they both sound like absolute shit. :P

~

Anyway, there will be a much better album later, not sure if this year or next, since I'm kinda slow at doing stuff that's actually even remotely good... but if you want a preview of what kind of stuff that will be, listen "Biomechanochemical Agglomeration of the Behemoths" and "SW☆G". Heaviness will vary, of course, but at least a few more songs will have kinda death metalish parts, unless I totally screw up and get tired of doing that or something.

New Smunctrum song, "Hungry Swarth"

So, here's finally a song that's ready to be uploaded in its entirety, and it'll be on the album that's in the process of being made... and there won't be any physical copies of it (unless some record label is up for charity, heh), even though that'd be cool. It's just that it'd be really difficult to arrange, both in terms of actually releasing it like that and how profits would be split.



I did most of the vocals, but around 0:30 and 1:00 is Jesus, and 2:50+ is DK. And of course, I did drum programming, too. Jesus and Nves recorded the guitar stuffs, and the latter also the bass. Not sure what the genre is, but industrial black metal and noisecore seem to be the most descriptive labels. Blackcore, of course, but that'd get the haters going a lot faster.

New Smunctrum stuff

With some new members and a slight genre change, there'll be a full-length Smunctrum album sometime this year. Not sure when, since only three songs are done so far (and even they might not be 100% finished), but yeah. Here's a preview thingy to annoy people. Please, people who like it, get it going around the world like an STD. :P



And a necessary list of who's doing what, because yeah.

Nves (guitar, bass, programming)
Vlürch (vocals, programming) <-that's me, obviously
Jesus (guitar, sampling)
D.K. (vocals)

...so yeah, I'm the only one who isn't also in MAXD. You might think it'd get kind of awkward, but I don't really know if it is. I mean, it's not like we'd ever meet in person.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Synthcorevolution (2013)

I've finished the new album, yay! It's kinda short, a little less than an hour, but I'm really proud of it.

01. Synthcorevolution
02. Lions in a Racecar Shoot-Out
03. The Skinner, the Gutter and the Boner
04. Miasmatic Ectoplasm Hallucinosis
05. Quadricephalic Heterosporous Endosymbiont
06. Cocktouch Mountain (remix)
07. Bepurpalusk
08. Apocalyptic Monument in the Sevenfold Vortex of Chaos
09. Ornamental Mummification of the Sequoian Demigods
10. Bumpreacher

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?fezx4govvd3ih2h

If you like it, please go "like" on Facebook and tell your friends to listen, etc.

And here are all those unnecessary links to all the sites I've put my stuff to, just because.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Deformed-Elephant-Surgery/248395521849451
Bandcamp: http://deformedelephantsurgery.bandcamp.com/
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/deformedelephantsurgery
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/DxExSx

Dir en grey remix

I remixed "Zan" by Dir en grey into dubstep. Hopefully they won't be super mega offended if they somehow hear it. I naturally hope they would, you know, find it, but not be offended. Although if they/their label finds it and ask me to delete it, I obviously will immediately.

The most grim post on this blog

...that title is possibly a little bit misleading, but who cares about that? This is the most black metalish stuff I've done in a while (longer than since I started this blog), so it's actually true, which is kinda funny. What? That made no sense? Ok.

But yeah, it's been a pretty long time since I made a video of just playing guitar... but I don't know, it's partially because I was too lazy, partially because I hadn't been playing as much.

Anyway, so... first, though, I'll put the new Heave the Sun tracks here, two of them.



This one, I'm really proud of. I mean, it ended up being almost exactly the way I wanted it to be, which seems to happen a lot more often nowadays. Maybe I'm becoming a better musician. *Gasp* Anyway, this other one, on the other hand, I'm not as proud of, but it still turned out good enough to upload:



And now, the guitar video. It's improvisation, as always, and black metal. Or at least it was supposed to be, but... yeah, that kinda failed. It might also have too much distortion, but well.

A blackcore song with wah wah

That title says it all; I made a blackcore (black metal + deathcore/mathcore) song that has some wah wah stuff. I'm really proud of the song, since, like, as far as I know, there hasn't been anything exactly like it before, since wah wah even in just black metal is pretty uncommon, as it is in deathcore and mathcore (ok, it's kinda usual in some mathcore, but you get the point). :P



...and I know, that name is pretty retarded, but well. It's not intended to be the most serious song in the world. The lyrics are about, well, you can probably guess from the name, a Satan-worshipping inbred cult who live in a sort of cave.