Vlürch - Numen (2020)

So, here's my newest album! I'm really proud of how it turned out.

1. Ouroboros

2. The Day the Sun Will Rise from the West

3. The Cycle of Deicide

4. Grotesque Florescent Symphysy

5. Carnal Mandala

6. Numen

7. Adorcism

8. Feeding the Demiurge

9. Iridescent Manifestation of the Celestial Serpent

10. The Night the Sun Will Set in the East

11. Enlightenment and Annihilation

 

Listen the full album on Youtube or as a playlist, or click on the song titles to listen to them individually.

Download from Bandcamp

Hopefully someone likes it!

My story was translated and narrated by a German creepypasta Youtuber?!

Last December, I wrote a story called Moult and posted it on the Creepypasta Wiki. The next day, somebody commented on it. To this day, it's the only comment on the story, a clear indicator that very few people have even read it.

...but last night, I found out that some dude had translated it into German and narrated it on his Youtube channel called Hellscythe German Creepypasta!😳 The video has over 30,000 views and over a thousand likes, which is absolutely baffling to me since, you know, the original story itself has probably been read only a dozen or so times. So, one of those few people who read it then put in the effort to translate it, narrate it and upload it to Youtube. He even included a link to the story in the video description, which I've heard is something a lot of creepypasta narrators on Youtube don't do. You can't imagine how happy this makes me.😊

Contrary to popular belief what a handful of people have assumed, I don't speak German (I only know a couple of words and very basic grammar), so I can't tell whether the translation is faithful or if something was changed, but I'd at least like to assume that the only changes, if any, would be ones that make sense in the context of translation; I know translating stuff can be difficult and time-consuming, and I'm also aware my writing style is a bit wonky at times.

If one of the three(?) people reading this blog post happens to know German and has the patience to sit through the 23 minutes of German narration while simultaneously reading the original in English, I'd like to know if there are any obvious mistranslations or such. I'd be especially interested in how he handled file-virus, considering that was intended to be a mispronunciation of filovirus; I can hear the word virus in the narration, but... well, like I said, I don't understand German haha. It's about 17 minutes into the video.

Running all the comments through Google Translate, I found out that there are several people who'd like a sequel. It's something I've been considering ever since I finished the story, but now I finally got the motivation to actually start writing one. No idea when it'll be finished, but I'm off to a good start.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Unicorn Worship (2019)

So, here it finally is! The tenth anniversary EP! Hopefully it being just an EP isn't too much of a disappointment for those who were expecting a full-length album, but I'm not saying it won't be expanded into one later. I'm also not saying it will be, though, because that would depend on various factors. Anyway...

1. Unicorn Worship
2. No Loli-Gagging
3. BEAR HERO
4. Lepidopterous Inundation
5. Scarlet Explosion
6. Pink Unicorn Chaos Rainbow
7. Snuff Film Casting Call
8. Cute Girls Cutting Zombies to Pieces
9. Unicorn Worship (instrumental)
10. No Loli-Gagging (instrumental)
11. BEAR HERO (instrumental)
12. Lepidopterous Inundation (instrumental)
13. Scarlet Explosion (instrumental)
14. Pink Unicorn Chaos Rainbow (instrumental)
15. Snuff Film Casting Call (instrumental)
16. Cute Girls Cutting Zombies to Pieces (instrumental)

Guitars and bass by Aljaž Špehar on tracks 1, 3, 5, 6 and 8 (Aljaž's Youtube & Twitter)
Guitars and bass by PSYCHSTEY on tracks 2, 4 and 7 (PSYCHSTEY's Bandcamp, Youtube & Twitter)

Click here to listen to the entire EP on Youtube (well, without the instrumental versions)

Download from Bandcamp or Mediafire

This is the first (but hopefully not last) DES release with real guitars, and as you can hear, it makes a pretty huge difference not just in terms of how the songs sound but what the songs are like, and I'm really glad about that and generally thankful to Aljaž and PSYCHSTEY for collabing with me on this!

Vlürch - Tangle (2019)

So, I finished a new album and decided to put it out on my 25th birthday because I'm selfish like that. It's my first album where there's no logo or album title in the art, simply because I couldn't cram them anywhere without it looking like total shit.

Listen on Youtube

Download from Bandcamp

Vlürch & Silver Linings - Plastered / Waiting (2019)

So, I collabed with Silver Linings. The result is pretty dark.

01. Vlürch - Plastered with Polaroids of Dead Children (feat. Silver Linings)
02. Silver Linings - Waiting for... (feat. Vlürch)

DOWNLOAD from Bandcamp
DOWNLOAD from Mediafire

Basically, it's a split, but we both did something to each other's songs. More noticeably Silver Linings did guitar, some of the vocals and synth stuff in my song (as well as generally making it better) whereas I just did some vocals at a couple of parts in his song. The cover art was also split, as you can see; he did the bottom/left half and I did the top/right half.

Vlürch - 奇形と死色 (2018)

Well, here it is...

01. 奇形と死色
02. 孑孓の暃
03. The Evil Eye Virus
04. Polymorphic Mirage
05. Waxen Mooncalf
06. 蜜人
07. Spasmodic Cochleate Moult
08. Gravid Antidune
09. 虹光身
10. Mercurial Backslider
11. Astral Body Snatcher
12. 餓鬼蟲
13. Body Horror Vacui
14. Bioluminescent Cyclorama
15. System Idol Process

(Click here to listen to the album in its entirety on Youtube.)

DOWNLOAD FROM BANDCAMP

~

ATTENTION, YOUTUBE REACTORS!!! If you make album reaction videos, please react to this album! I'd really like to see people's faces and/or hear what they say when they hear some of this stuff for the first time, regardless of whether they're negative or positive reactions.

...or if you're more generally a reviewer, please review it!

Deformed Elephant Surgery discography (free download)

Since there's a limit of 200 free downloads a month on Bandcamp and that has run out three times, I figured it's time to have somewhere that people can download all the DES albums from without having to go on potentially shady sites.

Currently, the entire discography is free to download and there is no option to pay (except for the latest single but you still shouldn't pay for it). If you want to support DES, don't.

With regards to the older stuff, please keep in mind that I started DES as a solo project when I was 15 in 2009 so everything before around 2012-2013 is absolute shit and cringily trying way too hard, etc. I regret a lot of early lyrics, song titles, etc. but the past can't be changed, and judging the late 2000s' and early 2010s' myspacegrind/myspacecore and post-myspacegrind scene(s) by 2020s' standards is kinda stupid. Don't get me wrong, it was fun at the time to just go for maximum edge and not care about anything for shits and giggles without thinking ahead for longer than a week, but it was a different time. If you like early DES, whatever, but if it's BECAUSE of the lyrics... well, please keep that to yourself and don't tell anyone about DES, ok?

I've decided to remove the download links to the first three albums. If you're into goregrind, there are thousands of artists out there who still do exactly that same type of shit, and don't try to tell me "nooo your early stuff was unique" because it was literally the most basic myspacegrind you ever heard... in fact, the worst. But since those are the albums you'll find everywhere when you google DES, unfortunately that's the legacy.

ALBUM / EP

DUG UP FROM THE GRAVE (2009)

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CORPSE CABIN (2010)

DOWNLOAD

MORBID NUCLEAR SWARM (2010)

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PARASITIC REBIRTH PROCESS (2011)

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TORTURED BY DEMONS IN THE MOST SADISTIC WAYS IMAGINABLE (2011)

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MUTATION (2011)

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COSMIC SPHERE OF THE DYING MINDS (2011)

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THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL CATACLYSM (2012)

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GLUTTONOUS LESIONS OF THE UNCANNY (2012)

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UBIQUITOUS ASTROLATRIC ONEIROTHEOSIS (2012)

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NEUROVASCULOFEROUS EXOSKELETAL TERATOMORPHOITIS (2012)

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PINK UNICORN'S EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES (2012)

DOWNLOAD (PART 1)

DOWNLOAD (PART 2)

SYNTHCOREVOLUTION (2013)

DOWNLOAD

HORSEQUEL (2013)

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THE SHAMBLES (2013)

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(INSTRUMENTAL)

SUGRACINE (2013)

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RUSHED LIGHT ONSET (2013)

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ANECDOTAL EQUINE BALLISTICS (2014)

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INVISIBLE FLOATATION DEVICE (2014)

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UNICORN WORSHIP (2019)

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guitars and bass by Aljaž Špehar (tracks 1, 3, 5, 6, 8) and Psychstey (tracks 2, 4, 7)

 

WARPED TECHNOLOGICAL FEVER DREAMS (2023)

DOWNLOAD

guitars and bass by Gotvet

~

SINGLE

ENGORGING PUTRESCENT SUCCULENCE (2014)

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DICK (2014)

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OMNICIDAL UNICORN HYPERNOVA (2015)

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THE EPITHELIUM OF THE VISCERAL GLORYHOLE (2017)

DOWNLOAD

LEPIDOPTEROUS INUNDATION (2019)

DOWNLOAD 

guitars and bass by Psychstey

 

 NEURON ACTIVATION (2022)

DOWNLOAD 

 guitars and bass by Joey Mousepad

 

THE ALPINE PLANE CRASH CANNIBALISM INCIDENT (2022)

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guitars and bass by Joey Mousepad

LEWD ANIME NOISES (2022)

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guitars and bass by Gotvet

BIFROST (2023)

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guitars and bass by Gotvet

THICC TIKTOK THOT (2024)

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guitars and bass by Gotvet

 ~

I haven't included split albums because I never got to download half of them myself, and the ones that were done directly with other artists/bands are all either available somewhere else or no longer available anywhere; I also honestly don't remember half of the splits I've done, so... yeah, that's shitty of me, but I don't remember much of my life from around the time most of the splits were done. Sorry for the inconvenience.

If anything gets deleted (Mediafire does that sometimes), let me know and I'll reupload.

Vlürch - Psychotronic Eschaton (2018)

1. Igniferous Aerial Juggernaut
2. The Primordial Devourer
3. Reverence for the Open Mouth
4. Deserts of Flesh
5. Psychotronic Eschaton

Click song titles to listen on Youtube. Also as a playlist, if you prefer.

Download from Bandcamp.
...or from Mediafire.

This is definitely my heaviest and noisiest album, but also the most accessible in the sense that it's probably the closest to any genre of standard metal I've ever done. The title track does push into some kind of avant-garde territory, though, I guess.

Vlürch - 黑魔經 (2016) + Kenosis (remastered) (2018)

Somehow I forgot to post the 2016 album, 黑魔經, when I finished it in the October of that year, even though it's almost certainly my best album ever. I'm not sure how I managed to do that... and by "that" I mean both the album and forgetting to post about it. Well, here it is now, a year and a half late.

黑魔經

Click song titles to listen on Youtube individually, or click here for the playlist.
01. Hellmouthgasm
02. 黑魔經
03. Postmodern Perspectives on Postmortem Penetration
04. Necromantic Haruspex
05. Leathermen of God
06. 無限快楽
07. 臟渦
08. Love Doll Love Triangle
09. Abscission
10. Black Mass Media Circus

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

~

I also decided to remaster the 2014 album, Kenosis. Now it sounds a lot better, or at least louder. New album art, too, an edit of a famous painting of Jesus, which is somewhat more fitting considering the religious themes of the album. Whether it's pro-religious or anti-religious is up to the listener to decide, within reasonable limits.

Kenosis (remastered)

Click song titles to listen on Youtube; it's the full album, so the links are (approximately) to the beginning of each song.
01. Samsara
02. Manala
03. Pandora Deliria
04. Rahu
05. The Cloven Visitor
06. Apotheosis
07. Kenosis
08. Naraka

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

The song Naraka is slightly shorter than originally; I cut the kinda random pop-ish part with clean vocals because it felt a little out of place. The title track also has a small change in the buildup to the chorus (if it can be called that), giving it more impact.

Vlürch - Viral Menticide (2017)

Yeah, that's Comic Sans in the album art.

01. Hidden Tornado Escalator
02. Ouroboric Phantasmagoria
03. Viral Menticide
04. The Great Pelvic Horn
05. Mother Nature
06. Fun City (feat. my dad)
07. Flesh Halo
08. 密室
09. Napalm Rimjob
10. Hogtied Prayer Technique
11. Magnetic Signpost Hallucination
Click on song titles to listen on Youtube.

DOWNLOAD FROM BANDCAMP
DOWNLOAD FROM MEDIAFIRE

I was worried I wouldn't finish an album this year, but I did. Just in time for Finland's 100th independence day, too, even though I forgot to post it in this blog. Whether any of the songs are actually listenable is another matter entirely, though... but I'm still proud of how this turned out; well, at least certain parts of certain songs, anyway.

An idea: linguistic analysis of autistic speech

There was just a documentary on TV about autism, it was really interesting and it had this kid in it who spoke "gibberish". That got me thinking. Is it really gibberish? Has anyone ever analysed the speech of autists linguistically? What if there exists an universal autistic language? I mean, I know it's a pretty ridiculous claim and I'm not saying that's how it is, but there could be a one in a billion chance that it is exactly that. The reason I even consider it is that when I was a kid, I behaved a lot like how autists behave, but was never diagnosed with autism or any related conditions (probably mainly because it all boiled down to that it had to be a mental illness of some kind because I had hallucinations and shit to go with it all), and I've always had a feeling that there's a language that some people just naturally have a grasp of even if it's difficult to understand even your own words in it. It's hard to explain but, like, consider the fact that words exist without meaning and meaning exists without words, so in the context of autism it could make sense to assume that there is meaning in the "meaningless" words that some autists speak, but there hasn't been a translation of the language. I know it's quite a leap of logic, but still... it would be interesting if somebody dug into it. I wish I could do it, but since I'm just a nobody... well, you know, I can't.

Vlürch - Neon Pornocopia (2014)

×××XXX×××

1. Percussive Alchemy
2. Larvae in the Trance Clone Unit
3. Sensual Undulation
4. Romantic Dildo Exorcism
5. Magical Reverse Cowgirl Scouts
6. Oxymoronic Florilegium: Heath Priviledger's Mindfuck Parade (the police are coming, hide the sausage!)
7. Šiçılıəsk a Hşaj (नरक·स्वर्ग + 蛇魔神の呪われた神聖黒石 + 나가·죽지않는황제 + ஙਗ੍ਰੂਮ੍ਹ옖ഷുംઍվ)
Click song titles to listen on Youtube.

Download from Mediafire, or Bandcamp.

I'm pretty proud of this album, even though "Kenosis" is probably a lot better in every way except that this is weirder and much more experimental.

Vlürch - Kenosis (2014)

ပျိူံ့းཀྨཱིཾ་ဌ်ာံ့ঙৣঁঃ　　｜　　०͕̫̖̝̯̞́ϟ͎̻̰̞ⴕ̦̼̺͎͎̤̙̀͐̽̓͒ͣￛ͂̌́͑ͯⴑͫ̋̉̄͂ͫ̀८͐ͤ̈́◜̇̈́̑̎̓ͦ̈◜̣̙̺̿̉ͨͯ̚ϡ̪̅ͯ̎̽̒　　｜　　ૐॐༀ៚

1. Samsara
2. Manala
3. Pandora Deliria
4. Rahu
5. The Cloven Visitor
6. Apotheosis
7. Kenosis
8. Naraka
Click song titles to listen on Youtube.

Download: click here
You can also download it from Bandcamp if you prefer that.

०८◜◜०ⴕੴ

So, I just finished this new album. It's pretty epic if I can say so myself. Most of the songs have lyrics in random as fuck mixtures of various languages and plain and simple gibberish, though there's some English as well, and whenever any of it makes any sense it's something about religion and mythologies. Not in a way that's pro-religion or anti-religion, just about that stuff. Anyway, I hope people like it, but if not, tell me why because I honestly think it turned out better than anything I've ever done before; I mean, this is a bit like how I wanted "Empyreal Obtenebration" to sound but just wasn't good enough at anything yet to do that, but on the other hand there isn't all that much in-your-face synth stuff*. And I don't sound like Gollum anymore when I sing clean vocals, at least not unless I want to. Anyway, let me know what you think if you listen!

Here's my Facebook page, by the way, if you wanna "like" it.

*Speaking of which, I kinda want to do a new, better version of "Feeding the Demiurge" one day in the future. The reason I haven't already is that I have no clue how I got that weird ass synth sound and haven't succeeded in getting that type of a sound again. Even if it sounds ridiculously bad and doesn't fit the song, I feel like it's an important part of what makes that song what it is and if I'm gonna do a better version of it, well... it'd need to have that anyway. Maybe if I get in that successful mood without having to arse too much, I'll also do a new version of "Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze". I probably wouldn't make it as dissonant, though...

St. Kain & Wormwood - Lachrymose Mesoglea (2014)

So, here it is: my collab with Onesimus Kain. It's pretty awesome, if I can say that without sounding like half a douchebag. :3

01. Explosive Ophthalmectomy
02. web in ur brains
03. An Adam's Apple a Day Keeps the Witch Doctor Away
04. A Hand, Crumbling
05. Told You to Run
06. A Hole in One Man's Meat is Another Man's God
07. To the Bears

DOWNLOAD

So... yeah. Download it, and be like "I was among the first to download it before these guys became famous as all hell", because that's totally gonna happen. I-I mean... w-why are you l-looking at m-me like t-that? D-did I... oh. Oh. Ok.

(I might write some longer rant about how awesome it turned out and how smoothly things went collabing with Ness, but I'm not sure. Right now, though, I'm not nearly in an objective enough state of mind to do that. XD)

Heave the Sun - Evangelium Carnis Angelorum (2014) + Vlürch - Baroquérotique

I've finally finished this album... and I'm proud of it, even though it's not nearly as good as I'd wanted it to turn out. Anyway, here it is, and it's mostly some sort of industrial black metal/drone/dark ambient/whatever stuff.

Listen on Youtube, click the song titles:
01. The Baptismal Gallows
02. The Angel of the Lord of the Flies
03. Laparotomic Voyage Simulator
04. The Black Ulcer Blossoms
05. Rat King

Download from Mediafire: click <-320 kbps
Download from Bandcamp: click

Here's the album art thing:

~

Aand I also did some neoclassical stuff, or at least tried. I decided to call that song "Baroquérotique", since that's an awesome blend and it has apparently not been used as a song title before... I'm pretty sure I'll do more, so that's why it's "part 1" and "demo".

Listen on Youtube: click

Or on Bandcamp, where you can download it for free from (but the player thing sucks sideways assballs, so I recommend listening it on Youtube): click.