Saturday, 10 August 2019

Vlürch - Tangle (2019)

So, I finished a new album and decided to put it out on my 25th birthday because I'm selfish like that. It's my first album where there's no logo or album title in the art, simply because I couldn't cram them anywhere without it looking like total shit.


Listen on Youtube

Download from Bandcamp
Download from Mediafire

Sunday, 27 January 2019

Vlürch & Silver Linings - Plastered / Waiting (2019)

So, I collabed with Silver Linings. The result is pretty dark.


01. Vlürch - Plastered with Polaroids of Dead Children (feat. Silver Linings)
02. Silver Linings - Waiting for... (feat. Vlürch)

DOWNLOAD from Bandcamp
DOWNLOAD from Mediafire

Basically, it's a split, but we both did something to each other's songs. More noticeably Silver Linings did guitar, some of the vocals and synth stuff in my song (as well as generally making it better) whereas I just did some vocals at a couple of parts in his song. The cover art was also split, as you can see; he did the bottom/left half and I did the top/right half.

Wednesday, 12 December 2018

Vlürch - 奇形と死色 (2018)

Well, here it is...
01. 奇形と死色
02. 孑孓の暃
03. The Evil Eye Virus
04. Polymorphic Mirage
05. Waxen Mooncalf
06. 蜜人
07. Spasmodic Cochleate Moult
08. Gravid Antidune
09. 虹光身
10. Mercurial Backslider
11. Astral Body Snatcher
12. 餓鬼蟲
13. Body Horror Vacui
14. Bioluminescent Cyclorama
15. System Idol Process

(Click here to listen to the album in its entirety on Youtube.)


~

ATTENTION, YOUTUBE REACTORS!!! If you make album reaction videos, please react to this album! I'd really like to see people's faces and/or hear what they say when they hear some of this stuff for the first time, regardless of whether they're negative or positive reactions.

...or if you're more generally a reviewer, please review it!

Thursday, 31 May 2018

Deformed Elephant Surgery discography (free download)

Since there's a limit of 200 free downloads a month on Bandcamp and that just ran out the second time (IIRC the first time was after my music was posted on Total Deathcore), I figured it's time to have somewhere that people can download all the DES albums from without having to go on potentially shady sites.

To make it as clear as possible, I do NOT want your money. If you pay for my music, you're not helping me. If you want to support me, just spread the word about my shit instead.

ALBUM / EP

DUG UP FROM THE GRAVE (2009)

CORPSE CABIN (2010)

MORBID NUCLEAR SWARM (2010)

PARASITIC REBIRTH PROCESS (2011)

TORTURED BY DEMONS IN THE MOST SADISTIC WAYS IMAGINABLE (2011)

MUTATION (2011)

COSMIC SPHERE OF THE DYING MINDS (2011)

THE TRANSDIMENSIONAL CATACLYSM (2012)

GLUTTONOUS LESIONS OF THE UNCANNY (2012)

UBIQUITOUS ASTROLATRIC ONEIROTHEOSIS (2012)

NEUROVASCULOFEROUS EXOSKELETAL TERATOMORPHOITIS (2012)

PINK UNICORN'S EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURES (2012)

SYNTHCOREVOLUTION (2013)

HORSEQUEL (2013)

THE SHAMBLES (2013)

SUGRACINE (2013)

RUSHED LIGHT ONSET (2013)

ANECDOTAL EQUINE BALLISTICS (2014)

INVISIBLE FLOATATION DEVICE (2014)

~

SINGLE


ENGORGING PUTRESCENT SUCCULENCE (2014)

DICK (2014)

OMNICIDAL UNICORN HYPERNOVA (2015)

THE EPITHELIUM OF THE VISCERAL GLORYHOLE (2017)

LEPIDOPTEROUS INUNDATION (2019)

~

I haven't included split albums because I never got to download half of them myself, and the ones that were done directly with other artists/bands are all either available somewhere else or no longer available anywhere; I also honestly don't remember half of the splits I've done, so... yeah, that's shitty of me, but I don't remember much of my life from around the time most of the splits were done. Sorry for the inconvenience.

If anything gets deleted, let me know and I'll reupload; Mediafire has deleted some of my stuff before, like "Dug Up From the Grave" at least twice, presumably for being too offensive, but also "The Transdimensional Cataclym" and "Ubiquitous Astrolatric Oneirotheosis" for some inexplicable reason, "Engorging Putrescent Succulence" for being too brutal as well as "Dick" and "The Epithelium of the Visceral Gloryhole" because they thought they were porn? I don't fucking know.

EDIT: I forgot "Invisible Floatation Device" because it's shit. Embarrassing that it's the most recent DES EP... oh well, it's not going to be the last, just... for now.

Saturday, 14 April 2018

Vlürch - Psychotronic Eschaton (2018)



1. Igniferous Aerial Juggernaut
2. The Primordial Devourer
3. Reverence for the Open Mouth
4. Deserts of Flesh
5. Psychotronic Eschaton

Click song titles to listen on Youtube. Also as a playlist, if you prefer.

Download from Bandcamp.
...or from Mediafire.

This is definitely my heaviest and noisiest album, but also the most accessible in the sense that it's probably the closest to any genre of standard metal I've ever done. The title track does push into some kind of avant-garde territory, though, I guess.

Tuesday, 20 March 2018

Vlürch - 黑魔經 (2016) + Kenosis (remastered) (2018)

Somehow I forgot to post the 2016 album, 黑魔經, when I finished it in the October of that year, even though it's almost certainly my best album ever. I'm not sure how I managed to do that... and by "that" I mean both the album and forgetting to post about it. Well, here it is now, a year and a half late.

黑魔經

Click song titles to listen on Youtube individually, or click here for the playlist.
01. Hellmouthgasm
02. 黑魔經
03. Postmodern Perspectives on Postmortem Penetration
04. Necromantic Haruspex
05. Leathermen of God
06. 無限快楽
07. 臟渦
08. Love Doll Love Triangle
09. Abscission
10. Black Mass Media Circus

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

~

I also decided to remaster the 2014 album, Kenosis. Now it sounds a lot better, or at least louder. New album art, too, an edit of a famous painting of Jesus, which is somewhat more fitting considering the religious themes of the album. Whether it's pro-religious or anti-religious is up to the listener to decide, within reasonable limits.

Kenosis (remastered)

Click song titles to listen on Youtube; it's the full album, so the links are (approximately) to the beginning of each song.
01. Samsara
02. Manala
03. Pandora Deliria
04. Rahu
05. The Cloven Visitor
06. Apotheosis
07. Kenosis
08. Naraka

Download from Bandcamp: click here
...or Mediafire: click here

The song Naraka is slightly shorter than originally; I cut the kinda random pop-ish part with clean vocals because it felt a little out of place. The title track also has a small change in the buildup to the chorus (if it can be called that), giving it more impact.

Saturday, 9 December 2017

Vlürch - Viral Menticide (2017)

Yeah, that's Comic Sans in the album art.


01. Hidden Tornado Escalator
02. Ouroboric Phantasmagoria
03. Viral Menticide
04. The Great Pelvic Horn
05. Mother Nature
06. Fun City (feat. my dad)
07. Flesh Halo
08. 密室
09. Napalm Rimjob
10. Hogtied Prayer Technique
11. Magnetic Signpost Hallucination
Click on song titles to listen on Youtube.

DOWNLOAD FROM BANDCAMP
DOWNLOAD FROM MEDIAFIRE

I was worried I wouldn't finish an album this year, but I did. Just in time for Finland's 100th independence day, too, even though I forgot to post it in this blog. Whether any of the songs are actually listenable is another matter entirely, though... but I'm still proud of how this turned out; well, at least certain parts of certain songs, anyway.

Friday, 21 August 2015

An idea: linguistic analysis of autistic speech

There was just a documentary on TV about autism, it was really interesting and it had this kid in it who spoke "gibberish". That got me thinking. Is it really gibberish? Has anyone ever analysed the speech of autists linguistically? What if there exists an universal autistic language? I mean, I know it's a pretty ridiculous claim and I'm not saying that's how it is, but there could be a one in a billion chance that it is exactly that. The reason I even consider it is that when I was a kid, I behaved a lot like how autists behave, but was never diagnosed with autism or any related conditions (probably mainly because it all boiled down to that it had to be a mental illness of some kind because I had hallucinations and shit to go with it all), and I've always had a feeling that there's a language that some people just naturally have a grasp of even if it's difficult to understand even your own words in it. It's hard to explain but, like, consider the fact that words exist without meaning and meaning exists without words, so in the context of autism it could make sense to assume that there is meaning in the "meaningless" words that some autists speak, but there hasn't been a translation of the language. I know it's quite a leap of logic, but still... it would be interesting if somebody dug into it. I wish I could do it, but since I'm just a nobody... well, you know, I can't.

Saturday, 28 March 2015

Film review: The Possession of Michael King (2014)

I'm just gonna start by saying that if you're gonna watch this, you may want to prepare yourself with diapers and a punching bag at hand. I didn't, and now I'm sitting here like "fuck you... fuck you". No, that isn't because it's that scary; it isn't, although it does have effective and quite original suspense moments and plenty of fucking jumpscares, but because of the volume. I mean, holy fucking shit, the first distorted scream/noise mess literally made my ears ring for a good while. And, since there are a lot of moments like that in the film, my ears are hurting and everything sounds muffled since. If you can handle listening to Merzbow at full volume, you have nothing to worry about, but if you can't... well, you are going to want to throw your headphones (or speakers, whatever) into a wall. That's what the punching bag would be for.

Other than that, it was actually pretty good. The demon voices were hilarious at some parts, though. But yeah, I liked it. I'm not gonna spoil anything, and am just gonna give it a 75/100. Could've been much better, but it was pretty fucking awesome.

Sunday, 25 January 2015

Film review: Tusk (2014)

WHAT THE FUCK. I had no idea what this was about when I started watching it, as usual with almost every film I decide to watch, and holy fucking shitballs I laughed so fucking hard at this shit. It was ridiculous in all the most fucked up ways, and I can't even explain how glad I am that I didn't know the obvious thing from the start because it made it so much more wtf, since I expected something entirely different. It's always best to watch stuff without knowing anything about it before, haha. But seriously, holy shit. I didn't realise that that one dude was Johnny Depp until later, but that only makes this better it's not obvious and he's not rubbing himself in your face like "yo I'm Johnny Depp and I'm in this film" or whatever.

87/100.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Vlürch - Kenosis (2014)

ပျိူံ့းཀྨཱིཾ་ဌ်ာံ့ঙৣঁঃ  |  ०͕̫̖̝̯̞́ϟ͎̻̰̞ⴕ̦̼̺͎͎̤̙̀͐̽̓͒ͣᅴ͂̌́͑ͯⴑͫ̋̉̄͂ͫ̀८͐ͤ̈́◜̇̈́̑̎̓ͦ̈◜̣̙̺̿̉ͨͯ̚ϡ̪̅ͯ̎̽̒  |  ૐॐༀ៚

1. Samsara
2. Manala
3. Pandora Deliria
4. Rahu
5. The Cloven Visitor
6. Apotheosis
7. Kenosis
8. Naraka
Click song titles to listen on Youtube.

Download: click here
You can also download it from Bandcamp if you prefer that.

०८◜◜०ⴕ

So, I just finished this new album. It's pretty epic if I can say so myself. Most of the songs have lyrics in random as fuck mixtures of various languages and plain and simple gibberish, though there's some English as well, and whenever any of it makes any sense it's something about religion and mythologies. Not in a way that's pro-religion or anti-religion, just about that stuff. Anyway, I hope people like it, but if not, tell me why because I honestly think it turned out better than anything I've ever done before; I mean, this is a bit like how I wanted "Empyreal Obtenebration" to sound but just wasn't good enough at anything yet to do that, but on the other hand there isn't all that much in-your-face synth stuff*. And I don't sound like Gollum anymore when I sing clean vocals, at least not unless I want to. Anyway, let me know what you think if you listen!

Here's my Facebook page, by the way, if you wanna "like" it.

*Speaking of which, I kinda want to do a new, better version of "Feeding the Demiurge" one day in the future. The reason I haven't already is that I have no clue how I got that weird ass synth sound and haven't succeeded in getting that type of a sound again. Even if it sounds ridiculously bad and doesn't fit the song, I feel like it's an important part of what makes that song what it is and if I'm gonna do a better version of it, well... it'd need to have that anyway. Maybe if I get in that successful mood without having to arse too much, I'll also do a new version of "Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze". I probably wouldn't make it as dissonant, though...

Monday, 3 November 2014

Film review: ABCs of Death 2 (2014)

...

wat






That said, this was surprisingly entertaining. To be honest, I already forgot a lot of it straight away because of how stupid it was, but the last three thingies were absolutely fucking amazing. Ridiculously over the top, messed up and hilarious while still managing to be creepy. Well, I mean, the "Zygote" thing. The "Youth" thing was just funny as fuck and had me laughing the whole time. I liked the "Vacation" one as well, and not only because of the sexy nudity and BLOOD GOES EVERYWHERE LIKE SPLASH SPLASH. But holy, dear fuck that last one. I... I just... like, I don't even... what... the... fuck.

Because of the last three and some of the others, I'll give this 65/100. If it was just those three, or the other stuff was as fucked up and awesome, I'd give it 99/100. But nope. It had a lot of boring stuff that ended just as it got interesting.

Saturday, 1 November 2014

New songs + horror art stuff + an announcement of some kind

Here are some new songs, at least some of which will be included on an album sometime in the future:

Larvae in the Trance Clone Unit

This one's all over the place and I'm really proud of how it turned out, especially the noisy ass parts and the part in the middle with the porn samples. I guess it could be called noise/trip hop/trance/techno/industrial/black metal/jazz/ambient if genre labels like that are necessary. The lyrics, in case anyone gives a shit, are pretty much gibberish with some words from Japanese, Finnish, Latin, Hungarian, Lithuanian and some other stuff.

Listen on Youtube: click
Free download: click


~

Magical Reverse Cowgirl Scouts

I'd wanted to do a song called "Magical Reverse Cowgirl Scouts" for a long time and started working on it already like half a year ago, but for some reason didn't get it finished until now. Maybe it's because I wanted to make it live up to its name, and I'm not sure if it still does... I should add some cowbell. Might do that later today if I somehow manage to find the arse necessary to accomplish that. It's kinda funny how this started out as a hip hop track, but somewhere along the line it kinda went somewhere else. Oh, and it has the first proper guitar solo I've ever done in a song. Well, not necessarily "proper" since I recorded it in like six takes and sped it up, but meh... I do what I want and I wanted to do that because in the end it sounded how I wanted it to sound. Obviously.

Listen on Youtube: click
Free download: click


~

Oxymoronic Florilegium: Heath Priviledger's Mindfuck Parade (the police are coming, hide the sausage!)

Not that anyone cares, but I actually recorded a lot more vocals and guitar stuff and everything and did a long ass synth solo for this song, but in the end I just couldn't be arsed to include all of that... in part because my computer would've exploded and in part because I'm a lazy assface.

Btw, the lyrics are supposed to be ridiculously stupid and parody a bunch of stuff but I'm not sure if all of it can be made out. Basically, I took a big steaming dump on everything and everyone I've been influenced by, or at least that was the intention.

And yes, I used the word "nigga" once. Problem? Because if that's what you focus on, seeing the world in black and white is probably on the top of your list of priorities...

Listen on Youtube: click
Free download: click



~

The Cloven Visitor

I'm really proud of this one, and somehow miraculously it didn't fry my hard drive to shit; it uses about 1.2 GB of memory in FL Studio, which is way more than it can normally handle. If it isn't obvious, it's a song about uninvited ungulates. You know, like the Devil, homicidal unicorns and creepy ass deer and stuff. I meant to make it even longer, with a part starting from where it ends that has only vocals and then going into an epic crescendo finale that blows the shit out of everyone's minds, but sadly couldn't do that because my computer just couldn't handle it.

I feel like doing a "part 2" of this, but don't hold onto your headphones or speakers or whatever because I might not actually have the motivation.

Listen on Youtube: click
Free download: click


The Nurse Bleaches Mannequins

This one's really, really short because I suck at rapping and since it's a horrorcore track (or at least it's supposed to be one), that involves rapping. I realise that half of the reason why this sounds like total shit is that I added barely any effects on the vocals, not to mention that I forgot to breathe a lot so it's all gaspy and quiet and shit, but meh. I'm still pretty happy with it. The sample in the intro is from "The Rambler", which is one of the best horror films of all time.

Listen on Youtube: click
Free download: click


Romantic Dildo Exorcism

I realise that the drums in this one are way too quiet at some parts, but well. I'm too lazy to fix that, and besides, I don't think it sounds bad overall even if the mix is a bit weak-sounding. Some of the lyrics are in English, other parts are a mix of Latin, Japanese and Finnish that makes no sense at all. Also some total gibberish because that's fun.

Listen on Youtube: click
Free download: click


~

And then, here's some art or whatever. Edited from whatever photos because fuck copyrights, and honestly, if someone cares then they're either an idiot who thinks way too highly of me (I mean, who's even gonna see these? Ten people?) or has a massive stick so far up their ass that they think the moon is made of cheese and cheese is made of human shit.

Click to enlarge, obviously.




~

And now, an announcement of some kind. Like some of you probably know, I've been collaborating with the awesome chiptune person Onesimus Kain and we've already made one album together, "Lachrymose Mesoglea". But wait, there's more! We've already finished another one! It's pretty cool, and will also be downloadable for free sometime soon. It's probably a bit more "mainstream" than the first one, but still weird noise pop/ambient/whatever stuff.

Also, like I already mentioned, I'm kinda working on an album of some weird ass stuff myself. It's probably not even half-done yet (or it could already be finished, it's all down to how arsed I can get), but I have a release date set in mind that's a goal or whatever, but I'm not gonna say anything about that definitively because that'd only make me want to hurry and I don't want to hurry. So, just expect it in the first quarter of next year, mkay?

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Film review: The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

This review will have some serious spoilers, so if you don't want that, stop reading. If you haven't watched this film yet, and this is the first time you hear of it, for the love of everything you hold dear, watch it as soon as you can and avoid trailers and reviews like the plague. The less you know and the less you expect, the better it will be.

Best demon-themed horror film I've seen since "The Possession"! I had unusually high expectations since I thought this would be something unique, so I honestly expected this to be a huge let-down, but thankfully it was literally the exact opposite: unlike just about every other similar film, it was unpredictable and didn't rely too much on jump scares. Although the fact that it involved demonic possession came as a surprise to me (I mean, I expected this to be some kind of fucked up psychological shit), and I hope the writers/director intended it to be an early plot twist of sorts, since if that was their intention and they pulled it off this well (that in the beginning, it could've gone anywhere), that only makes this feel like an even more amazing film.

I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned in some other review that I practically never watch trailers, so of course I've gotten used to sitting through hours of total shit and my standards aren't all that high, but there's no bias in the statement that this is one of those films that will make it into thousands of people's top 10 lists this year.

...but it's not perfect. There are some half-assedly covered plot holes and at times the effects are a bit over the top in terms of comparative realism within the film itself, but they're far from ruining the atmosphere. One thing, though, that half of the plot relies on, seems to have been completely forgotten by everyone involved in the making of the film: the levitation/teleportation/whatever. Like, that's the first genuine mindfuck moment, yet it's the only one of its kind. Why does she suddenly not do it anymore, and what the fuck was the point of doing it in the first place?

Anyway, that's nitpicking. The ending was absolutely terrifying, and this is the first film I've ever seen pull off a demonic mouth-stretch effect that actually works and looks creepy as hell rather than laughable. I'm gonna give this 99/100. Try to beat that.