Oh look, it's halloween (new Heave the Sun + a zombie thingy)

...and because of that, I was in the mood to do some dark ambient:


Also finally posted this on Tumblr and now here. I hadn't before, even though I'd already done it like a month ago:

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Sugracine (2013) + future plans

Yeah, this album sucks for the most part, but I still wanted to upload it everywhere and shit. Isn't that how babies are made?

01. Bepurpalusk
02. North Korea
03. Projectile Tentacle Pathogen
04. Shadows
05. Paradise
06. A Plumber's Wet Pipe Dream
07. Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox
08. Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia
09. Mermaids and Magic Wands
10. Stains (of a Princess)

Download from Mediafire or from Bandcamp

...and I messed up the order of the songs, but I was too lazy to fix it, since I already uploaded it to Mediafire and half to Bandcamp. It was supposed to be so that "Swaglocked in a Downbeatbox" and "Necrotizing Erotogenic Chthonophagia" are the other way around, but it doesn't really matter, since they both sound like absolute shit. :P

~

Anyway, there will be a much better album later, not sure if this year or next, since I'm kinda slow at doing stuff that's actually even remotely good... but if you want a preview of what kind of stuff that will be, listen "Biomechanochemical Agglomeration of the Behemoths" and "SW☆G". Heaviness will vary, of course, but at least a few more songs will have kinda death metalish parts, unless I totally screw up and get tired of doing that or something.

Lars Dreams (short story)

Today, Lars woke up with his feet aching. He'd never felt pain in his extremities before, so this was a new sensation for him, a new experience to write about. You see, Lars was a writer. Not a very good one, but one who got famous by writing about hot chicks having sex with hot guys, with quite a few of his books made into pseudo-pornographic films.

”I'm probably dying,” he grunted, looking down at his toes. All mangled and red, like he'd kicked at the bedposts. Then he realised that that was exactly what he had done, he'd dreamt of muggers in a bus. He fought hard, but not hard enough, since they took all his money.

Why did he think he was dying? Well, it's simple. Little Lars was already in his late fifties, and he'd always been the type to sustain an unhealthy diet ever since he was a kid. Today, though, was very different. His feet hurt like hell, and he'd never hurt like hell before. Only little pains, corresponding with his height and body fat.

Suddenly, a fierce grope on his stomach. This was it, he was taking his last breath. What a long and painful breath it was...

~

Lars woke up with his feet aching. He'd never felt pain in his extremities before, or anywhere else, so this was a new and exciting sensation. You see, Lars was a fetus. Not a very developed one, but one who got famous by spending ten years too long in his mother's womb. Upon birth, he surprised and baffled doctors all over the world by being alive, having dreamt of sex with hot chicks and hot guys those long years, dreamt of writing, having films made from his writings, and had a nightmare of his own death.

Now, Lars had a shot at real life. He could make those dreams come true, and he did; He became a famous writer with films made from his books, he married a beautiful woman half his age (if the years he spent in the uterus are included) and had children. Then, one day, he got mugged in the bus on the way home. He was stabbed, and later that night he died peacefully in his sleep.

What does Lars dream of now?

-----------------------------------------------------------

...yeah, this was just a thingy that came from an idea I had, about a guy who was a lithopedion and what life as one would be like. But yeah, it's really stupid.

New Smunctrum song, "Hungry Swarth"

So, here's finally a song that's ready to be uploaded in its entirety, and it'll be on the album that's in the process of being made... and there won't be any physical copies of it (unless some record label is up for charity, heh), even though that'd be cool. It's just that it'd be really difficult to arrange, both in terms of actually releasing it like that and how profits would be split.



I did most of the vocals, but around 0:30 and 1:00 is Jesus, and 2:50+ is DK. And of course, I did drum programming, too. Jesus and Nves recorded the guitar stuffs, and the latter also the bass. Not sure what the genre is, but industrial black metal and noisecore seem to be the most descriptive labels. Blackcore, of course, but that'd get the haters going a lot faster.

West Texania

Yeah.  Blah blah, West Texania, the state that shares borders with Texas and West Virginia. They're really fucking inbred and believe that George W. Bush invented dubstep. Any questions?

Disgusting vs disturbing

This subject has been ranted to death by some people, but I'll have to join that long line of annoyed individuals. Every time there's lists of "the most disturbing films" or such, they're ones filled with blood, guts and shit and so on. That's not disturbing, that's disgusting. Disturbing would be, for example, if you're watching a film that seems to be a happy family comedy, but it's just creeping the shit out of you for some reason; maybe it's the way the smile, or maybe they casually cook human bodyparts like it's the norm, it could be that one of them has their face the wrong way, or maybe the plot focuses on a legless kid who's strapped himself on a pair of dogs to move. Or maybe you have no clue what the hell is going on, but it's fucking your mind up and traumatising you forever.

It should be pretty straight-forward to remember the rules of thumb:
If it makes you wanna roll over and puke, it's disgusting.
If it makes you wanna crawl up in a ball, it's disturbing

So why do so many people, including professional film/literary/etc. critics keep getting it mixed up? It could be because they do go hand in hand quite a lot of the time, but what everyone should always remember is that they've never been mutually exclusive; they're easily paired and combined, but they're not synonyms.

I mean, it's not like I have anything against people using words incorrectly so long as there's a reason for it, but I just don't understand the reason being following in famous, influential people's footsteps in this kind of things.

New Smunctrum stuff

With some new members and a slight genre change, there'll be a full-length Smunctrum album sometime this year. Not sure when, since only three songs are done so far (and even they might not be 100% finished), but yeah. Here's a preview thingy to annoy people. Please, people who like it, get it going around the world like an STD. :P



And a necessary list of who's doing what, because yeah.

Nves (guitar, bass, programming)
Vlürch (vocals, programming) <-that's me, obviously
Jesus (guitar, sampling)
D.K. (vocals)

...so yeah, I'm the only one who isn't also in MAXD. You might think it'd get kind of awkward, but I don't really know if it is. I mean, it's not like we'd ever meet in person.

Lyhyt juttu kakasta / Short thing about poop

~Käpy ja Papparainen (Kakan Tarina)~

Käpy pudotti kakkakikkareen papparaisen kädelle. Pappa mietti hetken partaansa haroen, kunnes lopulta totesi että kakkahan on ruskeaa. Käpy käveli onnen kukkuloille, pudotellen runsaasti kakkaa matkan varrelle.

Tarinan opetus? Kakka on usein ruskeaa.

For those who can't understand Finnish, well, here's an English translation. It doesn't translate perfectly, since a lot of the retardness comes from the choice for words, but well:

~A Cone and an Old Man (Story of Poop)~

A cone dropped a piece of poop on an old man's hand. The old man pondered for a while, fumbling with his beard, until eventually stating that the poop is, in fact, brown. The cone walked to the hills of happiness, dropping a lot of poop on the way.

The moral of the story?  Poop is often brown.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Synthcorevolution (2013)

I've finished the new album, yay! It's kinda short, a little less than an hour, but I'm really proud of it.

01. Synthcorevolution
02. Lions in a Racecar Shoot-Out
03. The Skinner, the Gutter and the Boner
04. Miasmatic Ectoplasm Hallucinosis
05. Quadricephalic Heterosporous Endosymbiont
06. Cocktouch Mountain (remix)
07. Bepurpalusk
08. Apocalyptic Monument in the Sevenfold Vortex of Chaos
09. Ornamental Mummification of the Sequoian Demigods
10. Bumpreacher

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?fezx4govvd3ih2h

If you like it, please go "like" on Facebook and tell your friends to listen, etc.

And here are all those unnecessary links to all the sites I've put my stuff to, just because.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Deformed-Elephant-Surgery/248395521849451
Bandcamp: http://deformedelephantsurgery.bandcamp.com/
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/deformedelephantsurgery
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/DxExSx

Dir en grey remix

I remixed "Zan" by Dir en grey into dubstep. Hopefully they won't be super mega offended if they somehow hear it. I naturally hope they would, you know, find it, but not be offended. Although if they/their label finds it and ask me to delete it, I obviously will immediately.

Heave the Sun - Perditionism (2013)

I'm really proud of this album, especially because it's the most black metalish stuff I've ever done, although not just black metal. There are a few parts with clean vocals, so if you hate that, well, you don't have to listen those songs.

Download

01. Mouthful of Festering Goat Entrails
02. Putrescent Stench of a Tomb
03. Intracranial Tongue Swarm
04. An Industrial Abyss
05. The Lair of Inbred Devil Worshippers
06. Monolithopedion
07. Necrophilic Ritual of Black Death

So, if you like this album, tell your friends about it, post it in your blog if you have one, blah blah blah, etc. Obviously, no one will ever even download it, so I'm just wasting my time typing this here. But if you do like it, don't be ashamed of that. It's nothing to be ashamed of if you like my music! Ok, maybe it is, but whatever.

The most grim post on this blog

...that title is possibly a little bit misleading, but who cares about that? This is the most black metalish stuff I've done in a while (longer than since I started this blog), so it's actually true, which is kinda funny. What? That made no sense? Ok.

But yeah, it's been a pretty long time since I made a video of just playing guitar... but I don't know, it's partially because I was too lazy, partially because I hadn't been playing as much.

Anyway, so... first, though, I'll put the new Heave the Sun tracks here, two of them.



This one, I'm really proud of. I mean, it ended up being almost exactly the way I wanted it to be, which seems to happen a lot more often nowadays. Maybe I'm becoming a better musician. *Gasp* Anyway, this other one, on the other hand, I'm not as proud of, but it still turned out good enough to upload:



And now, the guitar video. It's improvisation, as always, and black metal. Or at least it was supposed to be, but... yeah, that kinda failed. It might also have too much distortion, but well.

A blackcore song with wah wah

That title says it all; I made a blackcore (black metal + deathcore/mathcore) song that has some wah wah stuff. I'm really proud of the song, since, like, as far as I know, there hasn't been anything exactly like it before, since wah wah even in just black metal is pretty uncommon, as it is in deathcore and mathcore (ok, it's kinda usual in some mathcore, but you get the point). :P



...and I know, that name is pretty retarded, but well. It's not intended to be the most serious song in the world. The lyrics are about, well, you can probably guess from the name, a Satan-worshipping inbred cult who live in a sort of cave.

Heave the Sun - Ritual Metamorphoses (2012)

Even though I hadn't been posting anything about doing a new Heave the Sun album, well, that's what's finished now. :P Well, an EP, I suppose. An EP that's an hour long. Yeah, it's a full-length album, okay? Although, only half of the songs are new, the rest are remastered/re-recorded versions of older songs, including a 20 minutes long version of "Feeding the Demiurge". I'm sure someone will like it. If not, well, it's okay.

01. Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze
02. Ritual of the Pegasus (by Which the Megalith Tribes Embodied Droughts)
03. Miniature Sphinx
04. Metamorphosis of the Prophet to Light
05. Violent Surgical Prophecy
06. Feeding the Demiurge

...and download: http://www.mediafire.com/?izqcbolj5b65a76

Of course, I've uploaded all of the songs to Youtube, so click the song names if you want to listen them there.

I'm pretty proud of it, especially the song "Violent Surgical Prophecy", since it kind of turned out the way I wanted it to be, instead of just something that was a fail at something and an unintentional success at something else.

If anyone has a music blog and they want to post this, please do, or if you just want to tell your friends who might like it, tell them, since, you know, that'd be nice, since I'm a selfish asshole. Yeah, wanting people to listen my music makes me a selfish asshole. That's not my logic, but everyone else's, apparently... since it makes me a "mainstream person" in some fucked up way. Oh well. :P

Idiotic idioms + DES bandcamp + new version of Burning Bush Monkey

If you want to make people look at you like "wtf bro", say these things to them. I'm sure in a few days you'll become the village potato, or if you fail at delivering the punchline (since when do idioms have punchlines?), at least you'll become the village unicorn, and that's awesome as well.

Some of these are references to my songs, so if you say them, you're supporting me as well, so you get a free turtlefuck lesson from your nearest potato. If you don't, well, that's not my fault, but yours for trying to talk to a potato and expecting it to answer. Everyone knows that potatoes don't talk, they have fance to think about; it would make them look like tomatoes if they went around speaking to random people.

"The grass is greener at the end of the rainbow."
"A potato is mightier than a sword if the sword isn't a potato, but even if it is, the potato is still mightier."
"Don't hate me if your penis is smaller than mine, hate your penis and cut it off."
"No man can turtlefuck his own knee."
"Ladies and gentlemen, look at my unicorn. My unicorn has five legs."

...I'm sure that if you say the last one in a grocery store, they'll probably throw you out and give you 10€ to hire a prostitute for some reason, since they think you're sexually frustrated and that the fifth leg is a penis, even though it's not, it's a fifth leg that grows from the neck or stomach or chest or something. And also:

Click that banner image thingy to go to the Bandcamp page. Basically, people on Facebook convinced me to register there, and so i did, and uploaded the newest album there. Of course, it's only the actual album and not the extra stuff, since one of those had that Dalek sound, and without it, it wouldn't be the same, so all those extra songs aren't there, but I'm pretty sure no one cares one bit about that, since it was just one really boring deathcore song that had the most überbrutal breakdown that is humanely possible (notice the sarcasm; read as: the most clichéd breakdown that is so lame it can't even be comprehended by the human ears) ("Extermination", which is the one with the Dalek thing; click this to listen it on Youtube if you didn't already when I first uploaded it and posted that post about it (I can't make coherent sentences today for some reason...)) and a remastered/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey", and of "Four-Dimensional Intercourse Pentagram", but that still sounded like absolute shit, and the awfully failed "Bunny-Induced Amnesia", which had that autotune fail (but I was too lazy to change it), and an overall very, very experimental (read as: a total mess) "Flying Combat Sharks", a short and porny version of "Hyperspherification", titled "Hypersphernography", and a short, lame "Rotten Crawling Things".

So yeah, if you download it from Bandcamp, you don't miss much. And besides, why would you download it from Bandcamp when you can download it from the blog post just before this one, which I'm gonna link here just to annoy you even more? (If the first links stop working, download from the ones under those; it's just divided differently.) But yeah, if you want to download it from there, go and download it from there. :P

By the way, I uploaded the remastered/re-recorded/re-edited/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey" to Youtube.


I'm even more proud of it now, since the whole contrast between the happy pop-like parts and dubsteppish wub wub wub parts is a lot bigger, and I think it's probably not totally impossible to make out the lyrics. Of course, it could be that it is, but well... it's okay, since that's not the most important thing about stuff. If you want to download just this song, click this.