New Smunctrum stuff

With some new members and a slight genre change, there'll be a full-length Smunctrum album sometime this year. Not sure when, since only three songs are done so far (and even they might not be 100% finished), but yeah. Here's a preview thingy to annoy people. Please, people who like it, get it going around the world like an STD. :P



And a necessary list of who's doing what, because yeah.

Nves (guitar, bass, programming)
Vlürch (vocals, programming) <-that's me, obviously
Jesus (guitar, sampling)
D.K. (vocals)

...so yeah, I'm the only one who isn't also in MAXD. You might think it'd get kind of awkward, but I don't really know if it is. I mean, it's not like we'd ever meet in person.

Lyhyt juttu kakasta / Short thing about poop

~Käpy ja Papparainen (Kakan Tarina)~

Käpy pudotti kakkakikkareen papparaisen kädelle. Pappa mietti hetken partaansa haroen, kunnes lopulta totesi että kakkahan on ruskeaa. Käpy käveli onnen kukkuloille, pudotellen runsaasti kakkaa matkan varrelle.

Tarinan opetus? Kakka on usein ruskeaa.

For those who can't understand Finnish, well, here's an English translation. It doesn't translate perfectly, since a lot of the retardness comes from the choice for words, but well:

~A Cone and an Old Man (Story of Poop)~

A cone dropped a piece of poop on an old man's hand. The old man pondered for a while, fumbling with his beard, until eventually stating that the poop is, in fact, brown. The cone walked to the hills of happiness, dropping a lot of poop on the way.

The moral of the story?  Poop is often brown.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Synthcorevolution (2013)

I've finished the new album, yay! It's kinda short, a little less than an hour, but I'm really proud of it.

01. Synthcorevolution
02. Lions in a Racecar Shoot-Out
03. The Skinner, the Gutter and the Boner
04. Miasmatic Ectoplasm Hallucinosis
05. Quadricephalic Heterosporous Endosymbiont
06. Cocktouch Mountain (remix)
07. Bepurpalusk
08. Apocalyptic Monument in the Sevenfold Vortex of Chaos
09. Ornamental Mummification of the Sequoian Demigods
10. Bumpreacher

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?fezx4govvd3ih2h

If you like it, please go "like" on Facebook and tell your friends to listen, etc.

And here are all those unnecessary links to all the sites I've put my stuff to, just because.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Deformed-Elephant-Surgery/248395521849451
Bandcamp: http://deformedelephantsurgery.bandcamp.com/
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/deformedelephantsurgery
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/DxExSx

Dir en grey remix

I remixed "Zan" by Dir en grey into dubstep. Hopefully they won't be super mega offended if they somehow hear it. I naturally hope they would, you know, find it, but not be offended. Although if they/their label finds it and ask me to delete it, I obviously will immediately.

Heave the Sun - Perditionism (2013)

I'm really proud of this album, especially because it's the most black metalish stuff I've ever done, although not just black metal. There are a few parts with clean vocals, so if you hate that, well, you don't have to listen those songs.

Download

01. Mouthful of Festering Goat Entrails
02. Putrescent Stench of a Tomb
03. Intracranial Tongue Swarm
04. An Industrial Abyss
05. The Lair of Inbred Devil Worshippers
06. Monolithopedion
07. Necrophilic Ritual of Black Death

So, if you like this album, tell your friends about it, post it in your blog if you have one, blah blah blah, etc. Obviously, no one will ever even download it, so I'm just wasting my time typing this here. But if you do like it, don't be ashamed of that. It's nothing to be ashamed of if you like my music! Ok, maybe it is, but whatever.

The most grim post on this blog

...that title is possibly a little bit misleading, but who cares about that? This is the most black metalish stuff I've done in a while (longer than since I started this blog), so it's actually true, which is kinda funny. What? That made no sense? Ok.

But yeah, it's been a pretty long time since I made a video of just playing guitar... but I don't know, it's partially because I was too lazy, partially because I hadn't been playing as much.

Anyway, so... first, though, I'll put the new Heave the Sun tracks here, two of them.



This one, I'm really proud of. I mean, it ended up being almost exactly the way I wanted it to be, which seems to happen a lot more often nowadays. Maybe I'm becoming a better musician. *Gasp* Anyway, this other one, on the other hand, I'm not as proud of, but it still turned out good enough to upload:



And now, the guitar video. It's improvisation, as always, and black metal. Or at least it was supposed to be, but... yeah, that kinda failed. It might also have too much distortion, but well.

A blackcore song with wah wah

That title says it all; I made a blackcore (black metal + deathcore/mathcore) song that has some wah wah stuff. I'm really proud of the song, since, like, as far as I know, there hasn't been anything exactly like it before, since wah wah even in just black metal is pretty uncommon, as it is in deathcore and mathcore (ok, it's kinda usual in some mathcore, but you get the point). :P



...and I know, that name is pretty retarded, but well. It's not intended to be the most serious song in the world. The lyrics are about, well, you can probably guess from the name, a Satan-worshipping inbred cult who live in a sort of cave.

Heave the Sun - Ritual Metamorphoses (2012)

Even though I hadn't been posting anything about doing a new Heave the Sun album, well, that's what's finished now. :P Well, an EP, I suppose. An EP that's an hour long. Yeah, it's a full-length album, okay? Although, only half of the songs are new, the rest are remastered/re-recorded versions of older songs, including a 20 minutes long version of "Feeding the Demiurge". I'm sure someone will like it. If not, well, it's okay.

01. Four-Dimensional Fractal Maze
02. Ritual of the Pegasus (by Which the Megalith Tribes Embodied Droughts)
03. Miniature Sphinx
04. Metamorphosis of the Prophet to Light
05. Violent Surgical Prophecy
06. Feeding the Demiurge

...and download: http://www.mediafire.com/?izqcbolj5b65a76

Of course, I've uploaded all of the songs to Youtube, so click the song names if you want to listen them there.

I'm pretty proud of it, especially the song "Violent Surgical Prophecy", since it kind of turned out the way I wanted it to be, instead of just something that was a fail at something and an unintentional success at something else.

If anyone has a music blog and they want to post this, please do, or if you just want to tell your friends who might like it, tell them, since, you know, that'd be nice, since I'm a selfish asshole. Yeah, wanting people to listen my music makes me a selfish asshole. That's not my logic, but everyone else's, apparently... since it makes me a "mainstream person" in some fucked up way. Oh well. :P

Idiotic idioms + DES bandcamp + new version of Burning Bush Monkey

If you want to make people look at you like "wtf bro", say these things to them. I'm sure in a few days you'll become the village potato, or if you fail at delivering the punchline (since when do idioms have punchlines?), at least you'll become the village unicorn, and that's awesome as well.

Some of these are references to my songs, so if you say them, you're supporting me as well, so you get a free turtlefuck lesson from your nearest potato. If you don't, well, that's not my fault, but yours for trying to talk to a potato and expecting it to answer. Everyone knows that potatoes don't talk, they have fance to think about; it would make them look like tomatoes if they went around speaking to random people.

"The grass is greener at the end of the rainbow."
"A potato is mightier than a sword if the sword isn't a potato, but even if it is, the potato is still mightier."
"Don't hate me if your penis is smaller than mine, hate your penis and cut it off."
"No man can turtlefuck his own knee."
"Ladies and gentlemen, look at my unicorn. My unicorn has five legs."

...I'm sure that if you say the last one in a grocery store, they'll probably throw you out and give you 10€ to hire a prostitute for some reason, since they think you're sexually frustrated and that the fifth leg is a penis, even though it's not, it's a fifth leg that grows from the neck or stomach or chest or something. And also:

Click that banner image thingy to go to the Bandcamp page. Basically, people on Facebook convinced me to register there, and so i did, and uploaded the newest album there. Of course, it's only the actual album and not the extra stuff, since one of those had that Dalek sound, and without it, it wouldn't be the same, so all those extra songs aren't there, but I'm pretty sure no one cares one bit about that, since it was just one really boring deathcore song that had the most überbrutal breakdown that is humanely possible (notice the sarcasm; read as: the most clichéd breakdown that is so lame it can't even be comprehended by the human ears) ("Extermination", which is the one with the Dalek thing; click this to listen it on Youtube if you didn't already when I first uploaded it and posted that post about it (I can't make coherent sentences today for some reason...)) and a remastered/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey", and of "Four-Dimensional Intercourse Pentagram", but that still sounded like absolute shit, and the awfully failed "Bunny-Induced Amnesia", which had that autotune fail (but I was too lazy to change it), and an overall very, very experimental (read as: a total mess) "Flying Combat Sharks", a short and porny version of "Hyperspherification", titled "Hypersphernography", and a short, lame "Rotten Crawling Things".

So yeah, if you download it from Bandcamp, you don't miss much. And besides, why would you download it from Bandcamp when you can download it from the blog post just before this one, which I'm gonna link here just to annoy you even more? (If the first links stop working, download from the ones under those; it's just divided differently.) But yeah, if you want to download it from there, go and download it from there. :P

By the way, I uploaded the remastered/re-recorded/re-edited/re-whatevered version of "Burning Bush Monkey" to Youtube.


I'm even more proud of it now, since the whole contrast between the happy pop-like parts and dubsteppish wub wub wub parts is a lot bigger, and I think it's probably not totally impossible to make out the lyrics. Of course, it could be that it is, but well... it's okay, since that's not the most important thing about stuff. If you want to download just this song, click this.

Deformed Elephant Surgery - Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures (2012)

It's finally finished! Over two hours long, more variety than ever before, and most of all, it's the best album I've ever done. Obviously, I always say that, but it's true; I keep getting better. If you don't believe me, well, just listen the album, you won't lose anything even if you don't like it.

Download: part 1 and part 2

The album is divided in two "themes" and extra stuff which are re-whatevered versions of older songs and stuff that didn't fit into either of those two "concepts" that are on the main parts of the album.

Tracklists:

Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures at the End of the Rainbow

01. I Came, I Saw, I Followed the Chicken Across the Road
02. Black Hole Tentacles
03. Transtemporal Locomotive
04. Bepurpalusk
05. Goliath and the Black-Eyed Children
06. Goliath's Escape from Hell
07. Hyperspherification
08. Pegamower 33
09. Vacant in a State of Naked Sex
10. Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures
11. Vibrathepulture
12. My Unicorn Has Five Legs
13. Saprophytic Nymphean Masochist
14. Vagabond Swarm of Galactic Devourers

Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures in Space and Time

01. Hyperbolic Prismatorhombated Hecatonicosachoron Portal
02. Gyrating Tesseractic Megalith
03. Objects of Spatial Distortion
04. Industrial-Incubated Intestines
05. Death Ray Paroxysm
06. Cocktouch Mountain (the Hypercone of Ylem)
07. Hovering Glass Pyramid of Extinction

Extra

01. Burning Bush Monkey
02. Extermination
03. Four-Dimensional Intercourse Pentagram
04. Bunny-Induced Amnesia
05. Flying Combat Sharks
06. Hypersphernography
07. Rotten Crawling Things

If you want to listen before downloading, here's one song:



I'm really, really proud of this whole album, since, you know, it's so huge and stuff, and like I said, all the variety. I've never succeeded at doing anything as clear-sounding before either, so that's another thing I'm really proud of. Although some people might feel like the lack of distortion, brutality, etc. is me "selling out", it's obvious that it's not; if I was to "sell out", I'd start selling my music, you know. :P Which, mind you, is perfectly possible at some point in my life if I just get the chance to do that. But for now, it's not, so I don't care, and I do whatever I want, and right now that's stuff that sounds like this.

Anyway, some of the vocals are pretty damn distorted in a lot of songs, since my brother suggested that (probably didn't mean that much, but well... xD) and that's one of the reasons that I'm really proud of it. So it should go without saying that I couldn't have done with album without my brother, who gave ideas and helped me a lot by just that. \(ᴼᴗᴼ)/

Please, everyone, share this album with your friends, "like" on Facebook, and subscribe on Youtube and "like" the songs there, etc. and whatnot, post it on your blogs/whatever, and so on, since there's that music blog extinction going on, and it's making it even harder to get any publicity at all.

Extermination + thanks, Total Deathcore! :D

So, a song about Daleks, just because. Oh, and yeah, there's that "exterminate!" sound sampled in it, and I hope nobody is offended by it and no one will sue me for it, it's just a second or two in the whole thing, and it's a sort of tribute song to Daleks, since they're epic, and Doctor Who in general, since it's one of the best TV serieses ever.

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/?j4yn7kx6aakovkh



...and also, TD linked one of my songs in their Facebook ("Black Hole Tentacles"), and that got me a bunch of likes and stuff, so THANKS all of you, and especially TD, etc. and yaaayyyy. :D

Promo images for "Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures" + progress update announcement + Black Hole Tentacles

I couldn't sleep last night, and so I was naturally in an art-doing mood, and since the new album is almost done, I thought I'd do something like this just for fun. I'm not sure how these could be "promo" images in any way, since they're like this (not that I'd even completely understand the point of promo images even if they would be useful somehow...), but yeah, if you're into that kinda thing, print them or whatever, would be funny if some school suddenly had one of these in every door. Can you imagine that? :P I'd probably get sued, though, so don't do that, but you know, weeeeell...

 And also, the album is already almost two hours (1 hour and about 45 minutes), but I'm gonna do stuff until there's at least exactly two hours, and I'm trying to get it finished before Christmas, preferebly by the 21st of December, since, you know, supposedly the end of the world and all that, which would probably mean a lot more people would listen it. Anyway, I'm 99% sure it'll be done before the end of the year, and if not, well, that's going to suck, and would mean my creativity would get problematic again, which is already starting to happen today, so, ugh...

And well, I uploaded one new song to Youtube, "Black Hole Tentacles", which I'm really proud of and stuff.

R.I.P. Neil Armstrong, Mitch Lucker, and all other dead people

I only just now found out about Neil Armstrong's death, and it's been months. And I found out only after a semi-inappropiate joke about him, which I then googled and went all "OH MY GOD NO WTF AAAAAH I'M GONNA BURN IN HELL EVEN MORE".

Also, Mitch Lucker died too, which is awful. Suicide Silence was one of the first deathcore bands I ever listened to, and although at first I didn't like it, it grew on me. I learned to like Mitch's vocals, more and more, and the song "Wake Up" could be listed as one of the most awesome deathcore songs ever. Partially because of how I always mishear the lyrics, which is now an inappropiate joke as well, even though it really is how I hear them; "Why can't I cum?". If you don't think it's sad, you should sit on an erect cactus.

And everyone else who has died, R.I.P. too.

DES album progress update thingy + Saprophytic Nymphean Masochist

The album, "Pink Unicorn's Extraordinary Adventures" is not finished yet, but it won't take long anymore. That's the album art, with an epic unicorn thingy and stuff. XD A lot of the songs are as unbrutal as can be, as in less brutal than Rebecca Black, but it's going to be the best album ever, at least the best album I've ever done (at least the best DES album), once again. Or maybe not, maybe "Ubiquitous Astrolatric Oneirotheosis" will always be the best, but well. I uploaded one of the most embarrassing songs to Youtube. There's a pretty long part with rapping that has ring modulation in it, which makes it sound like the most racist and sexist thing ever, but it's not meant to be racist or sexist or anything. It's just rapping with ring modulation in it. :P

Let the facepalm orgies ensue:

Paavo Väyrynen on kaunis + Ritual of the Pegasus

So, I didn't post about this before for some reason, probably because I forgot. It's the first song I've made with lyrics in finnish (excluding bands with other people where I wasn't the only person doing lyrics) and it's about Paavo Väyrynen, a finnish politician, and how he's supposedly beautiful and handsome, etc. which is obviously a joke. Anyway, it's pop/dance/whatever, some gay stuff like that. :P No one will ever like it, but that doesn't matter.


But yeah, I also didn't post about this new Heave the Sun track, which is named "Ritual of the Pegasus (by which the Megalith Tribes Embodied Droughts)", which is sort of like, well... something.